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Ep 110: Rad Dad Rountable- Clayon/Jake (Full Transcript)




Jey (00:09.88)

Settle down guys, settle down. Welcome into another episode of the Young Dad Podcast. I'm your host Jay. I'm super excited for today's episode because we get some three-way action today. Take that for what you will and however you will. I'm joined by the host of Round Dad Round Table, Clayson and Jake. They are both dads. They have both been dads for, well, at least since 2023.

And so I'm super excited to bring them on, talk to them a little bit and engage with them and talk about some pretty cool things today. So gentlemen, I'll give you guys a chance to introduce yourselves. Before I do that, you guys are long time best friends and you guys just like talking about your lives as rad dads. So tell us a little bit more about the rad dads, if you will.

Clayson Fields (01:03.982)

Well, I'm Clayson and I've been, I like to think rad for a little while, but I've been a dad since September.

Jake Sexton (01:09.807)

and you are to rest yourself.

Clayson Fields (01:14.756)

So that's been an exciting journey.

Jake Sexton (01:20.404)

I've been a dad since 2016 and so it's been wild. Been just, you know, learning how to be a dad.

Jey (01:31.776)

So what's that experience been like for you guys? For going from, or I guess let me ask this. Are you guys both married? Or with your children, the mother of your children?

Clayson Fields (01:46.773)

We're both married. Yeah.

Jey (01:48.648)

Okay, very cool. So what is that? And you guys both only have one kit.

Jake Sexton (01:55.427)

of three.

Jey (01:57.004)

Okay, Jake, you have three, Clayson has one. So, Clayson, since you're the youngest dad of the group here in terms of being a dad, what has that experience been like for you? Then Jake will jump to you. Clayson, what's it been like for you going from no kids to one kid and how has your first four months been as a dad? How tired are you?

Clayson Fields (01:57.006)

I have the one.

Jake Sexton (01:59.473)

Yes, sir.

Clayson Fields (02:25.915)

My sleep is cut in half. I feel like I wasn't sleeping much to begin with but that's all changed since the kiddo came around. But yeah everything is like it's like upside down in the best way. You know it really they say like it changes your life but like literally everything changes once they come. But it's good. It's good. I love it. There's nothing like it.

Jey (02:55.02)

100% can 100% attest to that and then for you Jake, what's it been like going from 0 and then to 1 and then to 2 and then to 3 you have me on the amount of kids We're about even with time we both I became a dad in 2017. So we're pretty close in our dad age respectively, but you have me be in terms of X factor how many times you're multiplying that by so what's that been for you for?

Jake Sexton (03:23.475)

I'm going to go ahead and turn it off.

Jey (03:25.42)

going from no kids to one kid to two kids to three kids. Like tell us, tell us about that journey for you guys.

Jake Sexton (03:32.859)

think for me personally, the jump from zero to one is pretty big. But then from like zero, from, sorry, for one to two was, um, astronomical in that way that like sleep works and like, you know, those kinds of things to where like my wife is like the primary, um, breadwinner of the household. Uh, she has more education than I do. She's a kindergarten teacher. I've always worked IT like part time.

And so, but then going from two to three was not bad. I mean, the jump was, was not terrifying. I'm used to it. I'm actually, I'm, I was tired for like four years, you know, and I'm good now. I've got the hang of it.

Jey (04:13.784)

I love that. So it's, so what are the age gaps for your kids Jake? How much distance do you have between your offspring?

Jake Sexton (04:23.251)

I have a 19 month, I have my little girl, my youngest daughter's about to be five here in a few days. And then I have a seven year old. And so all kinds of fun.

Jey (04:36.241)

Very cool. Mine are two-ish years apart. One, the oldest one was out of diapers and potty trained before the second one came along. That was kind of my end all be all rule. So Clayson, if you guys are planning on having any more kids, that's kind of the rule for me that I tell everyone. I'm like, well, make sure your first one's out of diapers before you put the next one in diapers.

to kind of save yourself a little bit on the cost there. Cause that's just one steady cost throughout time is that you go from just, you're always just buying diapers. It's fine. It's like, you don't even realize it at a point. But then when you have to double the diapers, that's when it's like, man, let me get these kids potty trained. So for you guys, what have some of the best moments been becoming dads? Like what are some of the

biggest and brightest spots that you guys just absolutely love about being dads.

Clayson Fields (05:43.51)

Um, man, I just, uh, I never knew like, as far as like people go, as far as like your family goes, that you could love, uh, something so much. And uh, I tell people about this all the time, but it's like, um, you know, you love your wife more than your own, your own life. Um, and that's pretty standard, but like this, the kid comes along and

It's like you it's so strange because it's like It's like the most passionate like love like without taking anything from your wife your significant other But it's like it's just exponential and that's been This has been really great

Jey (06:35.616)

Jacob are for you.

Jake Sexton (06:38.048)

I think for me, everything, um, gosh, I guess I saw like the potential and like the peak of it, um, when my oldest daughter started talking around to like very clear sentences, very well, we were having a conversation and she was still in like, like a, like a baby car seat, you know, and I was like, my gosh, like, I don't know. It was so, um,

Cause you know, like with what Clayson was saying about how you don't like have to split your love between like your, your wife and your child. Now it's like a, like a DLC, you know, like a, like a bonus. Um, but like, you know, I guess what's so crazy is just to like see the creativity and, and like, um, I'm sure we'll get into it eventually, but like how I'm not trying to put my desires and stuff on my kids, but to see like kind of what's already in them.

Jey (07:13.191)

Yes.

Jake Sexton (07:31.147)

Begin to like break the surface and like bloom and the creativity and like nurturing that rather than trying to Prove it all away to make it what I want it to be. Does it make sense?

Jey (07:43.616)

100% let's jump into that a bit because that's a great thing to talk about because it's very common. So I work in mental and behavioral health personally. I'm a mental health clinician. I work with youth and families. Very well known I believe to the listeners at this point. But I see it all the time that parents and I even I'm guilty of it from time to time kind of pushing what I want, you know on my kids.

pushing what I want them to do, pushing what, or parents are pushing what they want to do on their kids. Not letting them really have the space, the creativity, the ability to really be who they are and who they're meant to be, who their soul tells them they are, who they were created to be essentially. You know, some of the influence,

has been really fun. My oldest daughter, she loves Pokemon. We share that together. That's like our thing. She loves it. She's still into it. She watches it. She collects cards. She always wants Pokemon stuff. She's kind of taken that and ran with it. One thing that I have kind of pushed on her is just really engaging in like team sports and playing baseball and she knows like baseball is like, it's basically a family value.

It's like a core value of our family. It's baseball and she's coming around to liking it. She doesn't mind it. She likes playing. She thinks it's fun. She has her moments where she's just like, I don't want to play this year. When does the season start? But I don't want to play this year. But when does it start? How much longer? And I'm like, yesterday you literally said you didn't want to play. I'm like, this is why I signed you up anyway, because you're six and you can't make this kind of decision.

Clayson Fields (09:34.85)

Ha ha.

Jey (09:38.284)

But then it's funny because my younger daughter, who's three, will sit and watch football with me. And she'll just sit and watch the game with me. Or she'll watch basketball with me. Or she'll just sit and watch the game. I don't think she understands what's going on, but she just likes to sit there and watch the sports with me. And that's super cool, because my older one will excuse herself to her room and go put on

a kid show or something on Netflix or whatever she wants to watch in her room. While we just are out there watching TV or doing something while, you know, a game's on, she'll play with her Play-Doh, but she doesn't mind it. She likes to sit there and kind of soak it all in. So that's something that's been really interesting is seeing her develop in the way that like it's sports and seeing how all your different kids have different hobbies and things like my older one.

really likes art and drawing. My little one, she loves play-doh and like hands-on kind of thing. She's more the builder. She likes the sensory input kind of thing. My older one likes the artistic input. That's how her brain works to like color and to draw and to write things out. Her literary skills are incredible for her age. She's in the 95th percentile on her testing for reading which was absolutely mind-blowing.

but also not at the same time. I was like really not surprised. Mass skills are a little bit lower. She's only in like the 74th percentile or something, well above state average, but being in that 74 percentile range, you can see like kind of where her passions are, where, what she really likes. And so that's really interesting is being able to see, like you're saying, the people that they shape out to be. So how have you guys, or I guess mostly Jake, how have you, sorry, Clayson.

You're not there yet. We'll get there. But how have you really given work with your kids or let them kind of mold into who they are as people?

Jake Sexton (11:37.299)

I'm going to go ahead and close the video.

Jake Sexton (11:48.991)

I would say, you know, one of our core values is creativity. And I know it's like so broad, but it's so, I feel like the, like where it's so broad, it's easier to cultivate. And so whether it's like, um, uh, like.

Like I like to draw, I like to make comics. I'm not great at it. I'm more for the story, I guess, than for like the actual visual appeal. And my daughter like sees this and from an early age, like she began to draw. And I heard a statistic one time that was talking about how like, you know, so many children, like when they're young, they're creative, they draw like this genius level and like for their age and they continue to grow. But by the time they're like 14, like it's like gone.

Like they've been told they can't do this and they can't do that. And they believe that they've like adapted that. And so like a part of like, um, I guess what we really try to be intentional about is, um, you know, if, if someone says like, she can't draw her, she can't do this or she can't do that because like, I'm like an avid musician as well. And so like, you know, to let her like, go and just play the piano, it doesn't always sound good. You want to mean, but it's like, that's how they learn is like through play. If that makes sense.

And so I guess, you know, when it comes down, you know, when it comes down to, um, to, to those kinds of things, um, I just try to pay attention to, um,

Jey (13:04.884)

No, it makes all sense.

Jake Sexton (13:17.999)

Like her interests, like she's really interested in like ballet and like dance, like gymnastics, like right now she's like a cheerleader at her elementary school. And so like those, you know, those things kind of change sometimes or like our budget and stuff changes and we have to adapt to it. But, um, it's so.

I guess it's just so beautiful to see the resilience and that she takes, whatever she's into, she gives herself to. But like you said, sometimes you're six and you're like, I wanna do this, but I don't, but I do, but I don't. You know? And so it's just kind of, it's kind of like with a car, no one would hit the gas and would slow down. I just kind of see what's happening.

Jey (14:02.936)

I love that. I guess Clayson, let me ask you this from like your perspective. For your child, for your offspring, are you starting to see kind of... are you starting to see the personality of your offspring? Like, oh that's me. Oh, nope, that's the wife a little bit. Jake's laughing because he gets it. He gets it 100%. But are you starting to see kind of the personality starting to shine through a little bit? Kind of that cognitive awareness starting to kind of come into life.

Clayson Fields (14:17.781)

Yeah.

Clayson Fields (14:35.366)

It's funny, since he was born, I've said he's had a lot of personality just because of his facial expressions and reactions and things like that. But this last little bit, he's so much more aware. And I can see this little personality being built stone by stone. And I can get emotional talking about it.

But you know, it's just, it's really cool because there's definitely like, there's, there's a lot of, you know, the wife and I that I see like, coming out of them and uh, yeah, it's just, it's really good. And um, you know, he's really into, uh, he's really into eating right now. He's really into taking naps. He's been fighting them lately, but you know, it's, it's his, it's his choice to a degree. I guess, you know, you can't make him, but you know, it's, yeah.

We kind of just laid him Corbis path, you know?

Jake Sexton (15:36.239)

It's FOMO. You don't want to miss out.

Jey (15:38.936)

Exactly, that's it's a real thing for babies like Because this whole world is all new to them. It's all exciting. It's all so cool Like they don't want to miss out on anything because it's like well, you're making me go to sleep like this sucks. You're rude

Jey (15:54.904)

kind of thing, but no, you're totally right, it is FOMO. I had a thought, but I lost it. What have been some of the struggles for you guys? All right, sorry, let's go back to this. What do your households look like? What are some of those shared responsibilities between you and your wives, for your kids? What do you guys take, what do you individually take on?

Where does that kind of shared responsibility lie and what are some of those responsibilities, I guess primarily for you Jake, that you're also instilling in your kids? And how are you kind of, because I guess a four month old can't really do too much around the house, not yet at least, but how are you guys kind of instilling those different values? What does that kind of split look like between you and your wife?

Jake Sexton (16:49.159)

place and you'll take the reins or

Clayson Fields (16:52.718)

I don't know, I feel like, like you said, there's not much, not a whole lot to talk about at the four-month stage, but you know, I feel like it's a pretty even split. My wife just went back to work. She got another job. So that's been, we've been trying to navigate that and like the responsibilities of taking care of him while also like both working.

full time but I feel like you know with everything there's like a good balance there that we're uh I feel like we're on it.