Jey (00:09.88)
Settle down guys, settle down. Welcome into another episode of the Young Dad Podcast. I'm your host Jay. I'm super excited for today's episode because we get some three-way action today. Take that for what you will and however you will. I'm joined by the host of Round Dad Round Table, Clayson and Jake. They are both dads. They have both been dads for, well, at least since 2023.
And so I'm super excited to bring them on, talk to them a little bit and engage with them and talk about some pretty cool things today. So gentlemen, I'll give you guys a chance to introduce yourselves. Before I do that, you guys are long time best friends and you guys just like talking about your lives as rad dads. So tell us a little bit more about the rad dads, if you will.
Clayson Fields (01:03.982)
Well, I'm Clayson and I've been, I like to think rad for a little while, but I've been a dad since September.
Jake Sexton (01:09.807)
and you are to rest yourself.
Clayson Fields (01:14.756)
So that's been an exciting journey.
Jake Sexton (01:20.404)
I've been a dad since 2016 and so it's been wild. Been just, you know, learning how to be a dad.
Jey (01:31.776)
So what's that experience been like for you guys? For going from, or I guess let me ask this. Are you guys both married? Or with your children, the mother of your children?
Clayson Fields (01:46.773)
We're both married. Yeah.
Jey (01:48.648)
Okay, very cool. So what is that? And you guys both only have one kit.
Jake Sexton (01:55.427)
of three.
Jey (01:57.004)
Okay, Jake, you have three, Clayson has one. So, Clayson, since you're the youngest dad of the group here in terms of being a dad, what has that experience been like for you? Then Jake will jump to you. Clayson, what's it been like for you going from no kids to one kid and how has your first four months been as a dad? How tired are you?
Clayson Fields (01:57.006)
I have the one.
Jake Sexton (01:59.473)
Yes, sir.
Clayson Fields (02:25.915)
My sleep is cut in half. I feel like I wasn't sleeping much to begin with but that's all changed since the kiddo came around. But yeah everything is like it's like upside down in the best way. You know it really they say like it changes your life but like literally everything changes once they come. But it's good. It's good. I love it. There's nothing like it.
Jey (02:55.02)
100% can 100% attest to that and then for you Jake, what's it been like going from 0 and then to 1 and then to 2 and then to 3 you have me on the amount of kids We're about even with time we both I became a dad in 2017. So we're pretty close in our dad age respectively, but you have me be in terms of X factor how many times you're multiplying that by so what's that been for you for?
Jake Sexton (03:23.475)
I'm going to go ahead and turn it off.
Jey (03:25.42)
going from no kids to one kid to two kids to three kids. Like tell us, tell us about that journey for you guys.
Jake Sexton (03:32.859)
think for me personally, the jump from zero to one is pretty big. But then from like zero, from, sorry, for one to two was, um, astronomical in that way that like sleep works and like, you know, those kinds of things to where like my wife is like the primary, um, breadwinner of the household. Uh, she has more education than I do. She's a kindergarten teacher. I've always worked IT like part time.
And so, but then going from two to three was not bad. I mean, the jump was, was not terrifying. I'm used to it. I'm actually, I'm, I was tired for like four years, you know, and I'm good now. I've got the hang of it.
Jey (04:13.784)
I love that. So it's, so what are the age gaps for your kids Jake? How much distance do you have between your offspring?
Jake Sexton (04:23.251)
I have a 19 month, I have my little girl, my youngest daughter's about to be five here in a few days. And then I have a seven year old. And so all kinds of fun.
Jey (04:36.241)
Very cool. Mine are two-ish years apart. One, the oldest one was out of diapers and potty trained before the second one came along. That was kind of my end all be all rule. So Clayson, if you guys are planning on having any more kids, that's kind of the rule for me that I tell everyone. I'm like, well, make sure your first one's out of diapers before you put the next one in diapers.
to kind of save yourself a little bit on the cost there. Cause that's just one steady cost throughout time is that you go from just, you're always just buying diapers. It's fine. It's like, you don't even realize it at a point. But then when you have to double the diapers, that's when it's like, man, let me get these kids potty trained. So for you guys, what have some of the best moments been becoming dads? Like what are some of the
biggest and brightest spots that you guys just absolutely love about being dads.
Clayson Fields (05:43.51)
Um, man, I just, uh, I never knew like, as far as like people go, as far as like your family goes, that you could love, uh, something so much. And uh, I tell people about this all the time, but it's like, um, you know, you love your wife more than your own, your own life. Um, and that's pretty standard, but like this, the kid comes along and
It's like you it's so strange because it's like It's like the most passionate like love like without taking anything from your wife your significant other But it's like it's just exponential and that's been This has been really great
Jey (06:35.616)
Jacob are for you.
Jake Sexton (06:38.048)
I think for me, everything, um, gosh, I guess I saw like the potential and like the peak of it, um, when my oldest daughter started talking around to like very clear sentences, very well, we were having a conversation and she was still in like, like a, like a baby car seat, you know, and I was like, my gosh, like, I don't know. It was so, um,
Cause you know, like with what Clayson was saying about how you don't like have to split your love between like your, your wife and your child. Now it's like a, like a DLC, you know, like a, like a bonus. Um, but like, you know, I guess what's so crazy is just to like see the creativity and, and like, um, I'm sure we'll get into it eventually, but like how I'm not trying to put my desires and stuff on my kids, but to see like kind of what's already in them.
Jey (07:13.191)
Yes.
Jake Sexton (07:31.147)
Begin to like break the surface and like bloom and the creativity and like nurturing that rather than trying to Prove it all away to make it what I want it to be. Does it make sense?
Jey (07:43.616)
100% let's jump into that a bit because that's a great thing to talk about because it's very common. So I work in mental and behavioral health personally. I'm a mental health clinician. I work with youth and families. Very well known I believe to the listeners at this point. But I see it all the time that parents and I even I'm guilty of it from time to time kind of pushing what I want, you know on my kids.
pushing what I want them to do, pushing what, or parents are pushing what they want to do on their kids. Not letting them really have the space, the creativity, the ability to really be who they are and who they're meant to be, who their soul tells them they are, who they were created to be essentially. You know, some of the influence,
has been really fun. My oldest daughter, she loves Pokemon. We share that together. That's like our thing. She loves it. She's still into it. She watches it. She collects cards. She always wants Pokemon stuff. She's kind of taken that and ran with it. One thing that I have kind of pushed on her is just really engaging in like team sports and playing baseball and she knows like baseball is like, it's basically a family value.
It's like a core value of our family. It's baseball and she's coming around to liking it. She doesn't mind it. She likes playing. She thinks it's fun. She has her moments where she's just like, I don't want to play this year. When does the season start? But I don't want to play this year. But when does it start? How much longer? And I'm like, yesterday you literally said you didn't want to play. I'm like, this is why I signed you up anyway, because you're six and you can't make this kind of decision.
Clayson Fields (09:34.85)
Ha ha.
Jey (09:38.284)
But then it's funny because my younger daughter, who's three, will sit and watch football with me. And she'll just sit and watch the game with me. Or she'll watch basketball with me. Or she'll just sit and watch the game. I don't think she understands what's going on, but she just likes to sit there and watch the sports with me. And that's super cool, because my older one will excuse herself to her room and go put on
a kid show or something on Netflix or whatever she wants to watch in her room. While we just are out there watching TV or doing something while, you know, a game's on, she'll play with her Play-Doh, but she doesn't mind it. She likes to sit there and kind of soak it all in. So that's something that's been really interesting is seeing her develop in the way that like it's sports and seeing how all your different kids have different hobbies and things like my older one.
really likes art and drawing. My little one, she loves play-doh and like hands-on kind of thing. She's more the builder. She likes the sensory input kind of thing. My older one likes the artistic input. That's how her brain works to like color and to draw and to write things out. Her literary skills are incredible for her age. She's in the 95th percentile on her testing for reading which was absolutely mind-blowing.
but also not at the same time. I was like really not surprised. Mass skills are a little bit lower. She's only in like the 74th percentile or something, well above state average, but being in that 74 percentile range, you can see like kind of where her passions are, where, what she really likes. And so that's really interesting is being able to see, like you're saying, the people that they shape out to be. So how have you guys, or I guess mostly Jake, how have you, sorry, Clayson.
You're not there yet. We'll get there. But how have you really given work with your kids or let them kind of mold into who they are as people?
Jake Sexton (11:37.299)
I'm going to go ahead and close the video.
Jake Sexton (11:48.991)
I would say, you know, one of our core values is creativity. And I know it's like so broad, but it's so, I feel like the, like where it's so broad, it's easier to cultivate. And so whether it's like, um, uh, like.
Like I like to draw, I like to make comics. I'm not great at it. I'm more for the story, I guess, than for like the actual visual appeal. And my daughter like sees this and from an early age, like she began to draw. And I heard a statistic one time that was talking about how like, you know, so many children, like when they're young, they're creative, they draw like this genius level and like for their age and they continue to grow. But by the time they're like 14, like it's like gone.
Like they've been told they can't do this and they can't do that. And they believe that they've like adapted that. And so like a part of like, um, I guess what we really try to be intentional about is, um, you know, if, if someone says like, she can't draw her, she can't do this or she can't do that because like, I'm like an avid musician as well. And so like, you know, to let her like, go and just play the piano, it doesn't always sound good. You want to mean, but it's like, that's how they learn is like through play. If that makes sense.
And so I guess, you know, when it comes down, you know, when it comes down to, um, to, to those kinds of things, um, I just try to pay attention to, um,
Jey (13:04.884)
No, it makes all sense.
Jake Sexton (13:17.999)
Like her interests, like she's really interested in like ballet and like dance, like gymnastics, like right now she's like a cheerleader at her elementary school. And so like those, you know, those things kind of change sometimes or like our budget and stuff changes and we have to adapt to it. But, um, it's so.
I guess it's just so beautiful to see the resilience and that she takes, whatever she's into, she gives herself to. But like you said, sometimes you're six and you're like, I wanna do this, but I don't, but I do, but I don't. You know? And so it's just kind of, it's kind of like with a car, no one would hit the gas and would slow down. I just kind of see what's happening.
Jey (14:02.936)
I love that. I guess Clayson, let me ask you this from like your perspective. For your child, for your offspring, are you starting to see kind of... are you starting to see the personality of your offspring? Like, oh that's me. Oh, nope, that's the wife a little bit. Jake's laughing because he gets it. He gets it 100%. But are you starting to see kind of the personality starting to shine through a little bit? Kind of that cognitive awareness starting to kind of come into life.
Clayson Fields (14:17.781)
Yeah.
Clayson Fields (14:35.366)
It's funny, since he was born, I've said he's had a lot of personality just because of his facial expressions and reactions and things like that. But this last little bit, he's so much more aware. And I can see this little personality being built stone by stone. And I can get emotional talking about it.
But you know, it's just, it's really cool because there's definitely like, there's, there's a lot of, you know, the wife and I that I see like, coming out of them and uh, yeah, it's just, it's really good. And um, you know, he's really into, uh, he's really into eating right now. He's really into taking naps. He's been fighting them lately, but you know, it's, it's his, it's his choice to a degree. I guess, you know, you can't make him, but you know, it's, yeah.
We kind of just laid him Corbis path, you know?
Jake Sexton (15:36.239)
It's FOMO. You don't want to miss out.
Jey (15:38.936)
Exactly, that's it's a real thing for babies like Because this whole world is all new to them. It's all exciting. It's all so cool Like they don't want to miss out on anything because it's like well, you're making me go to sleep like this sucks. You're rude
Jey (15:54.904)
kind of thing, but no, you're totally right, it is FOMO. I had a thought, but I lost it. What have been some of the struggles for you guys? All right, sorry, let's go back to this. What do your households look like? What are some of those shared responsibilities between you and your wives, for your kids? What do you guys take, what do you individually take on?
Where does that kind of shared responsibility lie and what are some of those responsibilities, I guess primarily for you Jake, that you're also instilling in your kids? And how are you kind of, because I guess a four month old can't really do too much around the house, not yet at least, but how are you guys kind of instilling those different values? What does that kind of split look like between you and your wife?
Jake Sexton (16:49.159)
place and you'll take the reins or
Clayson Fields (16:52.718)
I don't know, I feel like, like you said, there's not much, not a whole lot to talk about at the four-month stage, but you know, I feel like it's a pretty even split. My wife just went back to work. She got another job. So that's been, we've been trying to navigate that and like the responsibilities of taking care of him while also like both working.
full time but I feel like you know with everything there's like a good balance there that we're uh I feel like we're on it.
Jake Sexton (17:36.095)
Um, I can say that, you know, my, my dad wasn't around a whole lot when I was a kid. Like he was, he was there physically sometimes, but he was never like checked in. You want to mean like he was either like fishing or doing something else to somebody else's kids. He's a father to a lot of people, you know, like mentors, stuff like that. He was never like, I don't know there for me. And so for me, I overconfidently did a whole lot in the beginning to where, um, like my, my wife, like separate from like postpartum.
And so like, I've always, it's been kind of like, um, a trait I had to like really work to get away from is to take everything else, take everything on and not take care of myself. If that makes sense. And so like I changed like the majority of like, uh, dirty diapers for the longest time, which was mind blowing to any, any part of our family who is not used to like.
a male being around a baby, you know, to where, you know, when you keep your kids at home, when your wife goes out with her friends, you're not babysitting. You know what I mean? Like you're being a father. And so it took me a long time to get to this place of being like, okay, like, by me taking everything on, I'm actually not letting her be like the mother that she wants to be. And so now it's very, like it's...
I'd say like, I want to say 50, 50 bits. It varies where she works full time. And I'm like a stay at home dad now. Like I quit my job back in August because childcare was essentially my, like my paycheck was just going straight to childcare and I was like, I could just raise my kids instead, you know? And so like, um, usually what we, we take turns like getting them to bed. Um, in the beginning, like it was just me singing to them. Uh, John Mark McMillan, how he loves, you know,
and just telling them stories about when I was a kid. And now we've transitioned into Miss Honeybee. I don't know if you've seen Miss Honeybee on Spotify and YouTube, but she's like real soft spoken, like ASMR, you know? And so it's been an interesting journey.
Jey (19:48.752)
Very cool. So how have you guys adjusted to dad life in general? Like what have been some of those struggles of becoming a dad? Like what have been some of the hardest parts for you guys? Because being a dad it's not all great all the time. Let's be straight up. It is honestly the happiest thing, it's the most fulfilling thing. There's nothing else that can compare that will compare.
Clayson Fields (20:13.176)
I'm going to go ahead and turn it over to you. Thank you.
Jey (20:17.32)
or that I ever might compare to being a dad, to being a father, especially to being an involved present dad. Jake, so many dads are probably listening to this right now like, damn, I wish I could be a stay at home dad. That would be so dope. That'd be so cool. I tried working from home last week. Let me just tell you this. We had a snow day at work. They closed our office. They sent us home. Weather was awful. We were doing telehealth anyways. They sent us home. I tried working from home with my two kids. I don't ever wanna do that again.
Clayson Fields (20:40.993)
I'm going to go ahead and turn it off.
Jake Sexton (20:44.859)
Yeah
Jey (20:46.296)
I don't ever want to do that again. I was, it was so stressful. It was so many redirections up. Shh, gotta be quiet. I mean, also it was new, but it was just like, as much as I ever wanted this, I don't want this. Like I, shout out to stay at home dads out there. Shout out to the stay at home moms, especially stay at home dads. Cause that's next level hard right there. So I commend you for that sir, hats off.
Clayson Fields (20:50.518)
Thank you.
Jake Sexton (21:10.48)
Okay.
Jey (21:15.956)
But you know, it's, being a dad's super hard. It's not easy. There's so many influences and factors along with it that come, societal expectations, gender expectations, all the expectations that come with being a dad. And it's super hard. So what have been some of those really?
hard things for you to overcome as a dad? Or what are some of those really hard things that you're working through currently on your fatherhood journeys?
Jake Sexton (21:52.955)
I would say for me personally, adjusting to that it's, I don't have me time anymore. Like it's like a struggle. Like when the kids go to sleep is when I get like to be by myself or concentrate on things I want to do. You know, I used to be an avid gamer. I was like, you know, staying up to like four o'clock Saturday nights.
And which is, it's, it's actually much healthier for me not to do that, you know, but, uh, adjust into, um, uh, that it's, it's not about like me and like what I want anymore and even with like, you know, working from home or attempting to like, um, like,
Clayson Fields (22:23.369)
Thanks.
Jake Sexton (22:37.207)
I enjoy web development. I'm not a web developer, you know, I enjoy like cyber security stuff and like trying to learn about that or like bug bounty hunt and things like that. And, uh, there's, you know, it, there's always like the pause button of your children being like, Hey, can you help me with this or this or this? And with three of them, you know, it's, uh, I mean, I'm sure you know how it is with the two, you know? And so, um, getting used to, um, I think I listened to your, your last podcast episode.
Um, and, and the person was talking about how like it's, it's their time now, you know, it'll be my time again later. And like, even with, you know, we've, we've been thinking about like buying a house and things like that. And like right now we're just renting. Um, but like, if you, if we won't like, we want like a big house with like, you know, so the kids can have the bedrooms, but when they move out, we're just kind of a bunch of empty bedrooms. You know what I mean? And so just like, trying to think, I guess, generationally and not just here now.
Jey (23:34.808)
I think for that, kind of what you just hit on, like... And this is for a later episode, you're gonna wanna stay tuned. Um, a little teaser. For that, I got to talk to a really good friend of mine. His name is Dave. He hosts the Dad Space podcast. We were talking kind of about that concept. Him and his wife are empty nesters now. But, he said that it's definitely different. It's definitely really hard. Having no kids.
They were kind of forced into it because of COVID and living in Canada and all the restrictions and all that. That's a whole other thing. But he said that they left. They decided to leave their rooms as their rooms. You know, you hear all the time. We probably saw it like when we moved out, our rooms got turned into siblings rooms or game rooms or entertainment or whatever they got turned into. They got turned into storage or whatever like that. So coming home didn't feel like home.
because now we're sleeping in a guest bedroom when our bedroom's right next door, but filled with crap or games or whatever. So like that home aspect was like taken away from us. But essentially we wanna create an environment to where we want our kids to be able to come back home. We want them to enjoy knowing that this is always gonna be your home. This is always gonna be a place of love, where you're safe, where you're supported, where we got your back, 100% of the time, no matter what that looks like.
And that could be being in a big old house with lots and lots of room. Or it could be the same apartment that you guys had been renting or same home that you guys have been renting for however many years. And then your rent paid off the mortgage. Um, and when maybe that turns into something, who knows? Uh, but ultimately it's just about creating that sense of home for your kids. Knowing that they're going to come home, they're going to have mom and dad there or some variation of it.
Hopefully it's always mom and dad, right? And that they come home and that there's just love. They know they're home. They know that there's gonna be a warm meal. They know that there's gonna be a good time, that it's gonna be fun and laughter and enjoyable and a place where they want to come back to. Ultimately, that's the goal, right? That's the generational goal, at least for myself, is to create a place where my girls, no matter where I am, if I'm in a big house, if I'm in a place where...
Jey (25:59.036)
I'm renting whatever the circumstances might be, whatever it's going to be, that they know that when they come back, they're home, that they're safe, they have a bed, they have their stuff however they last left it or as close to it as I can get for them.
Jey (26:23.748)
I wasn't skipping you, I promise.
Clayson Fields (26:27.079)
Oh, you're, you're totally fine. I was just thinking about how, like, being a parent is, it's like a culture shock. The best kind of way, but it is a culture shock because like, you know, like Jake was saying, just to go off of him, it's like I suddenly matter less. What I want to do doesn't matter, you know, at all.
because now this human, this tiny human who can't speak or move themselves around really at this point is dependent on me. So it's so obvious, but you really don't think about it until you're in the thick of it. And so that's the big adjustment. And like I said, it's in the best kind of way.
it's great, but that is huge to really realize that like, you know, I was also like a gamer, like Jake was saying, staying up late and things and, you know, like just things like that. It's like, it really makes you rethink like some of the things that you're doing or used to do. And really, I don't know how people have kids. And like, I'm not, I wouldn't judge anybody for, you know, how they're
living life and making it work. But like, if you if you're having kids, if you have kids and like, you're not changing your ways, like you're not trying to be better than like, I just don't understand. I say like, yeah, it's, it's really like, I don't know, like I was joking a few times about how like, I'm not into anything like
destructive or bad but I was like this kid makes me want to change my ways and I'm like I don't, I'm not into like destructive, I'm not hurting myself really. Drugs or alcohol or anything like that but I was like, you know, I'm like man this kid makes me want to be better and I don't know, you know.
Jey (28:38.808)
Go ahead, Jake.
Jake Sexton (28:39.463)
I think I was just going to touch on that. You know, I've talked, I've reconciled with my dad, you know, a whole lot recently. And one of the things that we talked about was how, you know, one of the reasons that he wasn't there for me when I was growing up was because when he was growing up, his dad wasn't there for him. And it was like a catch up game later on. And so like they're like...
a ton of times when I was younger that my dad would either go like hunting or fishing or whatever. And it was never, um, it, the majority of the time it was him trying to get to know his dad, but there's like that cycle of like neglect towards like instead of spending time with us and like, you know, um, uh, I'm trying to think of the best way to put it instead of like spending time with us and like being a father to us, he, he was trying to make it for the time that he lost with his dad. And so, like, you know,
being older and like wiser now, I guess I can look back and be like, okay, so that's why he wasn't there. I need to make sure that I don't fall into that same kind of thing. Like I'm like neglected my kids in order to like come to know the father that I didn't have, you know what I mean? And I just kind of, uh, to take time as it is, because like, I mean, there, there are probably some situations or not there are probably, there are different situations to where people have children and then they, they don't like adapt or like take on.
different values or do this or do that. But I feel like sometimes it's just those little accidental things that like, you don't realize like that you're destroying somebody. You know what I mean?
Jey (30:12.628)
100% and it's so important like even like you're saying Clayton like sometimes there's nothing that you're doing That's bad to like society or whatever Maybe you're not in addiction or have any of those like detrimental habits that Could hurt you hurt someone else could kill you take your life or anything like that Sometimes it's not that but having a kid 1000% changes you it makes you want to be a different person It makes you want to be a better person and even the smallest way
marriage changes you in those same aspects, but not nearly as much. Because it's a different level of understanding, right? It's like you're both adults. I'm not going to change you. You're not going to change me, but we're going to try to be better for each other and be the best partners and that we can be for each other. Totally different kind of change. But when you're raising a baby from zero to whatever, then it's going to be something totally different because you have to.
teach them, you have to model for them, you have to set the example, you have to be all the things for them that you want them to be. And if you're not doing that, or you're not conscious about that, or you're not intentional about that, those are the key parts there, then you're probably going to raise a little poop head that no one's going to like. Because guess what? You're a poop head that nobody likes. And guess where they got it from? The apple does not fall far from the tree. I hate that saying because I always get tongue twisted.
But the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. And it's very obvious when you see a kid that's normally a jerk, you can more times than not tell like, oh, the parents are jerks. I would say maybe 80-20. 80-20 rule kind of applies to this one because sometimes the kid's just a jerk and maybe got a bad set of genes. Maybe they got extra defiance.
other diagnosis or whatever that could be in play here. But 80% of the time, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree in that aspect. So, it's kind of what it comes down to. But, it also for us raising kids, growing up, I'm not sure how old you guys are, I'm almost 30. So I'm a millennial. Are you guys also millennials?
Jake Sexton (32:34.23)
I'm 32.
Jey (32:35.66)
Millennial.
Clayson Fields (32:38.75)
I'm 28 so I'm a cusper I think. Cusper millennial.
Jey (32:42.428)
We'll count, I'll take you in with us. I'll take you in with us. So, we grew up kind of the generation that's ending, I wanna say, that's very close to being the end of toxic masculinity, because it stems from generations right before us, probably the two generations before us, the way that our dads and our grandpas were raised, where they were raised in...
Clayson Fields (32:48.206)
Thanks.
Jey (33:12.168)
gender norms exclusively nearly. Especially our grandfathers, maybe our great grandfathers, more so than anything, our boomers. Hence why, okay, boomer. Where they're raised in this mindset where it's like, oh, I'm a man, I got to do all these things, I'm a man, I'm gonna come home, sup kids, where's my beer, where's my dinner, kind of thing. The stereotypes that we think of for our
Jey (33:42.348)
kind of really started to break that to where, you know, our dads were probably born like 60s, 70s kind of thing. So they had a lot of extra influences, if you know what I mean while they were growing up. So at least, but no, they were, they kind of started to break these cycles because they weren't, they haven't been any major wars that they went to.
Jake Sexton (33:56.691)
I'm going to go ahead and turn it off.
Jey (34:10.24)
while they were 18, 20 years old in the 80s, growing up in the 80s and the 90s, no major wars that they were shipped off to, so no major like trauma or PTSD. They got to see the technology come into their hands, early stages of it, and got to see a lot of these things. And they kind of started to break these norms, because that's when society started changing. Post-World War II, you know...
the jury segregation was ended. So the legal segregation of people was ended. So they got to see a lot more integration. A lot of things really started to advance politically and socially and racially and gender-wise. So they started to break a lot of these things. And then they had us, you know, in the 90s, what a cool time to be born. What a lucky time for us to be born and to see everything that we've seen over the last 30 years.
Plus, you know, we've seen war, we've seen destruction, we've seen terror, we've seen more war, we've seen so many natural disasters. We lived through more ends of the world than our parents ever did or ever thought that they would see at this time. Granted, they lived through them too, but we grew up in them. I mean, I remember being in school when 9-11 happened. Kids now, our kids, are gonna read about 9-11 in their history books. We were alive for 9-11, which is absolutely mind-blowing.
talking about that and kids are just like what's 9-eleven and I'm just like what do you mean what's 9-eleven you un-American little brat but no we're really working on and now for us being Millennials Gen Z I think is after Millennials right or is it yeah Gen Z Gen Alpha correct okay so Millennials
Jake Sexton (35:43.653)
Yeah.
Jake Sexton (35:55.407)
and then Gen Alpha. You're right.
Jey (36:05.344)
these dad roles being the traditional dad roles where they barely change a diaper, they're barely involved, they're barely there. Studies are showing that dads and dads, more dads and more dads are more and more involved with their kids, excuse me, and that we're changing this narrative around fatherhood. Our shows are taking that to change the narrative around fatherhood, but there's also that aspect of it to where destroying toxic masculinity.
was created by the world. It wasn't created by...
faith-based sectors or by the Bible itself. Granted, there was a lot of influence that came from that sector to the extreme, those things being taken out of context and to the extreme. But for you guys, and with your guys' background, kind of where you guys are at, how are you guys working on breaking that toxic masculinity in your homes, in your lives, and with your kids?
Clayson Fields (37:11.371)
You want to go Jake?
Jake Sexton (37:14.323)
Sure, sorry. I was not too much of a storm in the gates. It is. You know, for me, man, it sounds, I guess, kind of cliche, but you know, what really helped me start to break the norms and stuff is to see how God the Father is and how Jesus is.
Clayson Fields (37:20.962)
That's a normal.
Jey (37:22.648)
That'll happen. That'll happen.
Jake Sexton (37:43.091)
in scripture and just really coming to know him and be like, wow, you're so much better than I thought you were. And you're actually like, you're a good father. And gosh, I grew up with such a... I grew up in religion and all this anger and all this stuff, man. And it was like, come to find out it was actually just based on my dad. You know?
And so like to go from like, um, to being like, wow, like to, to really know, like the real thing really changed me. Um, that I, that I want to be good and I want to, I want to empower my kids. And I, and I want to, um, I don't know, man, I really.
Jake Sexton (38:33.295)
I don't want to see them go through what I went through and like what you were saying the generations before us. That I really want them to, and even with what you were saying before about the security of like always having a home. You know what I mean? Like I really, I want them to know that they're safe here and that they can be themselves here and that they don't have to.
Like there were so many times I wanted to run away when I was growing up, you know, and like the movies don't help, you know, it's like, yeah, this, this kid's packs and goes. And, uh, I don't know. I mean, I really just.
Jake Sexton (39:18.371)
like seeing like who Jesus was in scripture inspires me to show my kids that masculinity in itself isn't the way that the world's portrayed it to be. And sometimes it's kind of hard when you watch like the older movies and stuff and I'm like, yeah, that's a dad, but he could have done a better job, couldn't he? You know what I mean? Like, not like ignoring.
Jey (39:38.965)
Hahaha, true.
Jake Sexton (39:43.087)
you know, like what's going on, but like really like, uh, I mean, I guess that's just kind of the way that I've been with, you know, there's some times that we're, we're watching something, whether it's on Disney or whatever. And, uh, my girls are like, he shouldn't have said that. I'm like, you're right. He probably shouldn't have, you know?
Jey (40:00.956)
We had such it does we had such The Bible's place will let you go and then I'll go
Jake Sexton (40:01.472)
If that makes sense.
Clayson Fields (40:10.163)
Um, me and Jake have similar views, so like I could probably say word for word what he was saying, but I'm just like, I'm to this place where I'm just like sick of this toxic masculinity like we were talking about where, you know, it's like, be a man, but you know,
in scripture, in the Bible and things, you know, be a man is defined by Jesus because you know, Jesus is who we're, as a believer, as Christians, like, you know, who we're modeling our lifestyle and just everything we're doing after. And if it's not in him, I don't want it in me, if that makes sense.
You know, when you say, be a man, through the lens of looking at Jesus, you know, Jesus cried. You know, Jesus was, he wasn't controlled by emotions, but he was definitely moved by, you know, he felt things deeply, you know, he was, he wasn't constricted, he was allowed to, he was allowed to feel, he was allowed to
to say what he was thinking and to say what he was thinking in like, in a good way, not in a way of like, that tears down or like that bubbles up and, you know, this bottled repressed emotions and in outbursts but like in the most healthy manifestation, if that makes sense, you know.
Jey (41:59.132)
100%
Clayson Fields (42:01.862)
You know, like, just knowing, like, I grew up in a similar way, not really knowing, like, I knew God, but, you know, I really saw him as, like, an angry, as an angry guy. I didn't really see him as, like, a good or loving father. I knew that, like, technically he was because, you know, the Bible said so and everybody said so and don't question it. But, uh, but, you know, in my, uh, adult years, in the last...
I think I've been really following him for four years, five years now, something like that. And I'm just really coming to see that.
Clayson Fields (42:45.782)
that as far as like, like he's the good father, like he's the best father. Like he is, you know, he is loving, he's compassionate. He loves his kids, you know, and like, that's just really, that's helped me a whole lot in life in general. And like it's helped me as a new dad because
One, I get to experience my son from a good perspective, from a good place and not like a broken place. And two, it helps me in my encounter and in my life with God the Father, because I get to relate to him in this way, like having this thing that I love.
Jey (43:41.952)
I love that. Jake.
Jake Sexton (43:44.747)
So I was going to say while Clayson was speaking, it just kind of reminded me. There's a saint named Athanasius and one of his best quotes is that the glory of God is man fully alive and that's what we see. Like even what Clayson was saying about like what you're saying about these fathers who are like very stoic and they didn't really show emotion and they didn't really do this or do that. You know, one of the things that we do.
Like, they get, they goes in all this is like, you know, with life, there's animation, there's moving. Like, it's not just like you're like a statue. And I, and I'm, you know, my grandpa was very stoic and he wasn't very expressive. Um, but you know, I, like there's like, I don't know, there, there are times and stuff to where, uh, you can see his barriers break down around us though, versus like being around like, uh,
You know, like being a grandparent, like you soften up quite a bit, you know? And so it's, I guess what's just so interesting is with what Clayson's saying is that like, you know, we grew up with a very stoic Jesus who wouldn't even dance or, and he like, he went to a wedding and like made all this wine and all these things. And like people would just try to sweep all that under the rug and just be like, you just got to look at this. And so it's...
Like for me, I want to be animated and I want to be alive and I don't want to like hold things back. Like I really want to, um, to show my kids that I love them, you know?
Jey (45:18.36)
100%. I think there's so much there. I'm very fortunate enough with my church. I had quite the religious journey. Grew up Christian until I was about 11, going to Christian kind of based church. And then at 11, from 11 to like 22, so a good portion of my life, I was affiliated with the Mormon religion, Latter-day Saints.
No longer affiliated there. And then my divorce happened about three years ago. And then I really fell off just away from faith, away from God, away from Jesus altogether. And then it took until about probably two-ish years ago where it all really came back. I went to a, maybe three years now, that I went to a daddy-daughter dance that was hosted by my church. And I had no clue. I'd never heard about this church. Never knew it was like literally down the street around the corner from where I lived.
Never heard of it. Went to this dance and then I just, after that I just kept thinking about it. Kept thinking about it for probably two months. Like yeah, I should probably start going to church again, start getting involved and you know, bring out that part of my life. And then it was actually my aunt that encouraged me randomly to just like, she's like go and try it. Just go and try it, check it out, see what it's about, see if you like it. I was absolutely fell in love with my current church. So now I'm very fortunate to where
Somehow, even though I hadn't been going to the church for a whole year, they asked me to, I was able to start subbing in children's ministry. And then I started helping with the Iwana program and the upward sports program, so the different sports programs. So very fortunate now I get to teach, I have a fifth grade class I teach every Sunday and I get to teach council time at Iwana. So I'm super fortunate and lucky that I get to do those things.
Very blessed that is like my ministry now is working with the kids but it's super cool because I get to learn just how I get to learn about Jesus's example and About God the Father's example because they set just the perfect most clear example of a father-son relationship Everything that God did for Jesus or to Jesus or had him do for him
Jey (47:45.468)
all came from a place of love, all came from a place of understanding. Granted, God gave him the choice. He didn't say you have to absolutely do this or whatever because God's a loving God. He gave Jesus the choice and Jesus chose. He chose to do the things and everything he did, he did is an example to us. He chose to love people. He chose to wash his servant's feet. He probably washed...
poop off their feet and animal feces off their feet because they walked around barefoot in the dust. He served people. He talked to people. He served to then be able to minister to them. He loved them unconditionally. He healed the grossest people that society would view, you know lepers, sinners. He stood in front of a woman who was getting pelted with rocks. Like who else would do that? And I think that's such a powerful example for us as fathers because
Jake Sexton (48:14.631)
Thanks for watching.
Jake Sexton (48:18.567)
for sure.
Jey (48:43.544)
He took the beating for his children. We are his children. He took the beating. He took the things. And I don't think that there's any, there's no reason that we should sweep the parts under the rug like when he's feeding the 500 or however it meant, I believe it's the parable of the feeding the 500. I think it was more. 5,000, I knew I was missing a zero. Thank you.
Jake Sexton (49:01.691)
5,000.
Jake Sexton (49:04.879)
That's, that, I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt. What's so wild is that's, they didn't count women and children in those days. That's 5,000 families.
Jey (49:07.415)
You're good.
Jey (49:12.18)
Yeah, so that's you probably three X that four X that but you think he was really just like here's your bread and fish Go away. No, he sat and he mingled with all those people. He talked to all of them played with the kids Set the example for those families of how to love and just be together And he probably brought people together as he was talking to one person over here. He's like, oh, there's that family over there I think you'll really like them
Granted, those things aren't recorded, but you think Jesus was just out there just like, here you go, peace out. No! He rejoiced, He danced, He taught, He spent time with them, He spent time in the temples, He spent time with His disciples just talking and ministering and teaching. And of course, those are the things that are recorded in the Bible for our context. But you think He just was like, here's gospel, learn gospel, take gospel, preach gospel. No!
There is a human aspect of that because he was a man, just like us. And he taught and he interacted and he, he laughed. I guarantee you he laughed. Uh, so go ahead, Jake.
Jake Sexton (50:23.007)
You got to think that kids are real fickle, man. And they love Jesus to the point that his disciples were like, hey, stay away. And he's like, hey, man, let him come. And like, you know, kids don't like, they're not like attracted to everybody, man. Like, you know, there's some people that kids just don't like. And like, I feel like, you know, what does it say about him that like children were like fighting to be with them and like, you know, I...
I feel like our face journey is very similar. I grew up in church around the time I was 14 or so. I prayed a prayer, but I didn't really know him. And so for years, man, I just wore this mask of like, I was like addicted to like pornography. There's guilt, shame and all these things. We'll probably talk about, you know, before the episode's over. And then...
When I was, I think I was 25, I had this encounter with him in my kitchen, not at church, but you know, like just to go on to say how good of a father he is, right? I had this encounter with him in my kitchen and he completely changed me. And like, he's not just a God who like will sit and like wait, but he like comes after you.
And like, you know, if, like, if my girls or my son, my son's like 19 months old, and like, if our back door is open, he's gone. Like he's just running somewhere. And like, I'm not just letting him run into the woods or whatever. Like I'm going after him, you know?
Jey (51:47.7)
Yeah, he's always, I mean, Jesus is always going after the one, you know, that's the parable of the shepherd. And he's always going after the one. We're all the lost sheep, we're all the one, but he's coming after each and every one of us to save us, to talk to us, to rescue us, to be there for us, to love us, to bring us back to his fold and to into his mix and to into him. He's always after us to bring us back into him.
Jake Sexton (52:14.535)
One of the things that's so interesting, I think, in scripture is that he never ran. He took time for everybody. He always walked. He took a boat here and there. But like, you know, you're like, it's a whole thing. But he always, like he walked. And like he, everybody was in front of him. He took care of me. He loved to the point to where everybody was being annoyed about it because they're like, Jesus, we got to go. This guy's dying. You know what I mean?
And like, and I feel like it's the same thing with like, even with what we were saying earlier about our busy lives as fathers taking time to be like, you know, if my daughter wants to spend like a few more minutes, just watching it snow, we're watching it rain. Like to take a step back and be like, you know, this is what she's going to remember is that like she had a dad who waited and like she had a dad who, um, he wasn't.
Jey (53:00.662)
Mm-hmm.
Jake Sexton (53:08.367)
I mean, don't get me wrong, I've not been patient. I'm actually still very much learning how to slow down and how to, hurry sickness is a real thing, you know? And, but just come to this place of being like, you know, if you wanna enjoy the rain a little bit longer, I'm here with you. Or like, if you wanna like watch YouTube on the TV, like I'm with you. Go ahead, I'm sorry.
Jey (53:27.419)
I think that's
Jey (53:32.016)
Oh no, you're good. I think that's one thing I always teach my WANDA kids. That's one thing that I've taught this whole year so far, the school year, is from the very beginning, one of our very first lessons was about how Jesus was never late, but he's also never in a hurry.
Jey (53:50.04)
Jesus is time, He transcends time. If He wants to do something or, you know, disciples are telling Him, yo, this guy's dying, He's like, okay, I got it. Like, chill, I'm cool. It's cool, it's fine. Like, I'm not in a hurry. I'm not gonna be late either. I'ma get there when I need to get there, kind of thing. So just remembering like, He's never late, He's never in a hurry. And I think that's so important for us to remember as fathers, you know, like.
Jake Sexton (54:07.835)
There.
Jey (54:20.408)
Well, sometimes we will physically be late, but that's okay because people will understand depending on the situation and whatnot. And they'll also being in a hurry, you know, can also can take away from those beautiful moments that we get to enjoy with our kids. Maybe it's those couple minutes of watching the rain or couple minutes more of snuggling, couple extra minutes before bed. That really comes down to a, well, it's not that big of a deal. Eh, so what?
Jake Sexton (54:38.235)
Yeah.
Jey (54:50.432)
It's okay. I think that's so important for you Clayson to like being having a four-month old to really just Soak all those moments in like yeah, I could put him to bed right now He's he's happy. He's content, but I'm enjoy this for a couple more minutes. I'm gonna enjoy this for a few more minutes right now, so Go ahead. It's been Jake and I dominating this go ahead Clayson
Clayson Fields (55:09.097)
Yeah.
Jake Sexton (55:13.607)
Dallas.
Clayson Fields (55:17.09)
You guys have a lot more experience than I do. But yeah, that's just, that's really one thing I've been trying to be very intentional about. I feel like with babies, you know, newborn to however old, I think people a lot of times just are, it's like, well, you know, we got to get through this. We have to, you know, it won't be bad for
forever, blah, blah. But I've been really just trying to like relish those moments in that way where like, where I'm in the moment and not wishing that he was bigger and more dependent. But, you know, I'm like, you know, this kid eats a lot, he eats often, but, you know, and you know, I'm known to be like, oh man, you know, I gotta.
feed this baby, like there's so much going on, but you know, they won't be, they're not little forever. And I think that's my way of doing, of being intentional like you guys are talking about is like, just being thankful for where he's at right now. And you know, I can watch him grow, but like not rushing, not rushing him growing up and not, not resenting,
his dependency or the things that a parent needs to do. And it's just been, that's the place I'm in. And I feel like I'm better for it, we're better for it as parents, me and my wife.
Jey (56:58.932)
And so real quick, I'm gonna let you guys talk about this one. I'm gonna excuse myself for 40 seconds, use the bathroom real quick, but I'm gonna ask you guys a question and I'm gonna let you guys both go. I saw my headphones on while I'm excusing myself, I'm gonna mute myself. But please talk about, let's talk about some mental health here. Tell us about some of the things and how your mental health has been affected either before
Since having kids what have some of the kind of the ups and downs things that you guys have struggled with kids Or no not with kids, but since having kids like how what is your mental state kind of been in? I Know when I asked you guys you guys mentioned that there's been some struggles with depression and anxiety. So let's jump into that Let's share whatever stories you guys have around like your guys's own mental and emotional health So I'll be listening, but I'll be back on camera like 40 seconds
Jake Sexton (57:53.203)
Thank you.
Jake Sexton (57:59.523)
Hit it, Clayston.
Clayson Fields (58:03.003)
Um... I-
Which I think how... I don't want to say what I'm trying to say. Um...
Clayson Fields (58:15.31)
I feel like not to like, this isn't like bragging or anything like that, I'm you know, happier about it. But like, I'm in a better, I'm in a probably better place to have had a kid now than, you know, years ago. But.
Clayson Fields (58:37.482)
But you know, with it comes, I wouldn't say like, that the generalized anxiety, but you know, like they do things that make you anxious and things. And you know, that's, I feel like being rooted and being solid.
Clayson Fields (58:57.302)
is important because parenting is a lot, and I only have one four month old, with more I could see it being even more, even more so the case, but like, you know, of just like losing your mind or being, you know, because you know, kids are wild, kids are wild and they take a lot out of you, because you know, it is a lot of denial of yourself, and we talked about like losing me, Tom.
things like that but yeah that's just that's my thoughts that's where I'm at.
Jake Sexton (59:32.39)
I think for me personally,
Jake Sexton (59:38.387)
I think imposter syndrome and really just dealing with, am I even qualified to do this? I think that's been the biggest thing for me is, anxiety here and there, you find out pretty quick that children are way more resilient than you realize they are. I've watched Willow, and Willow's my oldest daughter.
I watched her and her sister, Amara hit the floor hard, like jumping off couches and stuff, the things that if I, if I did the same thing, I'd be like, man, I'm broken. And they just bring back up and just like go off and just hit it, you know, and the same thing with like with my son. And, um, so, you know, as for me, like, I know that every age and like all these things come with different situations to where, you know, Willow's not driving around.
Like I'm not like, you know, concerned about her like on the roads, you know, or unless she's not like working, so I'm not concerned to like about that. And so really with, uh, I think what's helped me a lot, um, is taking it step by step and just being like, you know, there's no reason for me to be concerned about, uh, her having her first car right now, like it's a good thing to think about, but I can't do anything to influence that at the moment. And so we're just going to keep going.
Depression was something I struggled with really early on. It was really bad. There came a point...
Jey (01:01:13.376)
Was yours, would you say Jake, for you, your depression, do you feel like it was also kind of some postpartum depression? Did it kind of correlate with that same timeline? And maybe just didn't realize it was postpartum depression?
Jake Sexton (01:01:29.571)
And for me, I came into it depressed. I've suffered from it for a long time and then it was really difficult in the beginning. It's one of the things that I dealt a lot with, like suicidal thoughts too. One of the things I had to fight with, I'm over now, praise God, but one of the things I really had to fight with was, would she be better off without me?
Jey (01:01:32.478)
Okay.
Jake Sexton (01:01:55.655)
Because I didn't realize what a lot I am to them. Do you know what I mean? And I didn't like, because it's, going back to the gender norms and stuff like that, it's hard to be a dad. And you raised with seeing, my dad was the provider of our household and all these things. To where I don't have the education to provide strictly for our house right now. You know what I mean? And so to...
To go to that place of being like, man, I can't support my family the way that I want to support my family, would that be better off with somebody else? That's something that I've struggled with a whole lot.
Jey (01:02:30.048)
100%. And I think that's, I think some of that you're talking about is, of course, I don't know the whole situation. I'm not your psychiatrist. I could be your therapist. But, um, just, but, you know, some of that, you know, especially if it's after your kid, that is, it's really hard to recognize it for men. Um, but to recognize that postpartum depression because we think that's only for moms, right? We really, we really think a lot of that just for moms.
But it can definitely get worse. Like if you already were struggling with depression, already were working through like major depressive disorder or generalized anxiety, that can definitely get worse for men with having a kid. For a lot of the reasons that we've mentioned too, like a lot of what you were saying Clayson, like you're giving up, or both of you guys mentioned, you don't have your you time that you did anymore.
until they're a little bit older and maybe you find it after they go to bed or maybe you get up earlier before them to have that time. Because that's the only time you have to find the time, you have to make the time, you have to build it in. Whatever that looks like, even if it's 20, 30 minutes of playing your favorite game, you have to build it in. Kind of thing for you. But you give up a lot of yourself as a father, especially like if your significant other is struggling. We put ourselves aside. You know, Jake, you mentioned that you'd put your
your kind of needs and everything because your wife was struggling with postpartum depression. And you put yourself aside but at the same time you also put aside your own postpartum depression which came along with that because those thoughts, that ideation, you know, was just chalked up to, oh I was already struggling with this before so it's nothing new but it's like to that level and that extreme of like would she be better off without me? What is it going to be okay?
Jake Sexton (01:04:06.523)
Thank you.
Jey (01:04:23.624)
You know, that's the postpartum depression that's just not talked about enough with like men and how common that is. I would say, again, go back to the 80-20 rule. 80% of men most likely struggled with postpartum depression that are fathers didn't recognize it while 20% did recognize it. Which is definitely not okay because it's not, but the thing is that it's not treated for us. A nurse
never asked you, I'm sure after all three of your kids, or a doctor never asked you after all three of your kids, how you're doing, how you're feeling, are you struggling with depression at all, do you have any thoughts of hurting yourself, hurting the kid, you know, are you depressed at all? I guarantee a doctor never asked all three of us those questions, ever, except maybe during our own annual physical when they have to ask us. Even then, we...
When's the last time you actually had your annual physical? And when they actually asked you if you were depressed or having those feelings of suicide or anything like that? Probably a very long time, at least for me. I don't remember going to my doctor and them ever asking me, well, except for after my divorce, when I lost a ton of weight and my doctor was actually really worried, noticed it and asked. But outside of that, like, it's not asked in the process of having a kid how...
dad's doing, how you're feeling, how you're coping, how you're adjusting, how you're... are you feeling depressed? Because it does come along with being a father, there's a sense of loneliness. There is absolutely a sense of loneliness. It is the happiest yet loneliest time of your life because it's... you get cut off, you lose yourself, you get lost in the sauce in the best and the worst ways. And so it's really hard and that's why it's so important to...
to talk about it, to think about it, and to be able to validate it for yourself that, shoot, I did struggle with postpartum depression. Those thoughts, they weren't just because I already had them. Those were new thoughts to an extreme because of my kid. I struggled with it. I'm better now, but man, that was hard. So being able to recognize that and validate that for yourself, and then placing it for you as well, it's...
Jey (01:06:38.572)
These next couple years, the first two years are super hard. Like they're super freaking hard. The sleep, the paranoia, the anxiety, it all can be triggered. Not getting you time, not getting time with your spouse, all those things are gonna be really hard. Once they're about two years old, it becomes really fun to be a dad. In all honesty, like two is kind of that gold, 18 months to two.
When they start walking, talking, talking back, where they're way more durable than we think they are. Like Jake was saying, they're so durable. They're so resilient. They bounce back up. Like my three-year-old literally at like 18, between like 12 and 18 months would run into a wall and just go donk, would just audibly make this sound effect. She was fine. She just ran into a wall.
and she has a little bump on her head, just donk, that's it. And so it's so cool to be a dad, but it's also so important to recognize these things with yourself. To recognize, man, I'm struggling, maybe I need to talk to someone, maybe I need to go get myself checked, maybe I need to talk to my partner, my significant other, my wife, about some of these things I'm feeling too. And just let her know, hey, I'm feeling kinda down, I don't know what it is, because your wife, she probably knows you pretty...
freaking well at this point. And so she can do that. Or if it's not your wife, communicate with her like, hey, I think I wanna go talk to, I talked to one of our associate pastors at my church. Every few weeks I'll set up an appointment with him if I'm struggling with something or kind of where I'm at mentally, just to check in and talk to him to have that support. Get that perspective and to kind of talking about it.
little bit more in that kind of platform to where it's like brings it back to faith and to the Bible and to a place Also, I'm super lucky and my church is literally adjoined By a little hill of like thanks to where I work So it's super easy to make an appointment and then literally walk over and like say oh, hey guys Miss here to talk to Matt Kind of thing. So and if your church doesn't have an associate pastor named Matt isn't even a church
Jey (01:08:59.672)
because every church does I swear but uh yeah that's my soapbox I'll step down let you one of you guys take it
Jake Sexton (01:09:00.338)
I'm going to go ahead and close the video.
Jey (01:09:13.672)
if you want, unless you guys got, unless there's anything to add to the whole mental health part of it.
Clayson Fields (01:09:20.769)
Um...
Clayson Fields (01:09:24.502)
I can't speak for everybody, but I'm really thankful. We've talked about our relationship with God and stuff, and that keeps things in perspective for me. And that helps me with my, as it has for years, mental state and things. I don't know what I would do if I wasn't in this place. So that's really all I can add to that.
Jey (01:09:52.536)
that. All right, gents, are you guys ready to jump into the YDP3? Any other thoughts? Anything else that we want to cover? Actually, we'll make the YDP4 today, just because we can. And anything else you guys want to?
Jey (01:10:08.918)
in there.
Clayson Fields (01:10:11.31)
I think I'm good.
Jey (01:10:13.228)
for sure. Alright, so we're gonna start with the, we'll make the YDP for today. Three questions. It's normally the YDP three, three questions. I asked all the guests. I'll give you guys both a chance to share for each of them. The first one, we'll start with the fun one and then we'll get into the three. What's your guys' take here? I think we can settle a debate, not forever, but at least between us three. Does pineapple go on pizza?
Clayson Fields (01:10:49.35)
Uh, pineapple was made for pizza, I'm pretty sure. Like, pineapple was created and waited for hundreds and thousands of years for pizza to be created. So, absolutely.
Jey (01:11:05.992)
Wow, such strong take, Jake.
Clayson Fields (01:11:10.039)
We tried to and then pizza came along it's like oh, this is what this is for
Jake Sexton (01:11:16.227)
You know, for years I wasted my life not eating pineapple on pizza.
Jake Sexton (01:11:24.027)
and I'll leave it there.
Jey (01:11:25.996)
I think I'm just gonna delete this whole show now. I'm just kidding. I'm not a fan. I should not go anywhere. It can go on yours, but it does not go anywhere near mine. It will never be on my table. If we ever end up getting pizza together, I will sit at a different table. If you guys are eating pineapple on pizza, I will literally excuse myself because I will not be at that table. That's where I land on that. So you guys have fun with that. You guys can be disgusting in public if you want.
Jake Sexton (01:11:28.784)
Hahaha
Jey (01:11:55.288)
eating that on your pizza, but that's on you. I'll go and sit with the kids and eat our normal pizza outside of that. Any kids that want to join me, you can join me on that adventure there. So the first... What was that?
Clayson Fields (01:12:09.504)
They're usually To be they're usually eating pineapple and pizza to be fair so good luck with that
Jake Sexton (01:12:16.083)
I'm sorry.
Jey (01:12:16.572)
No, I like pineapple. I love a good pineapple. I love a good, fresh, cold pineapple spear, pineapple chunks. Like I will buy canned pineapple chunks. My kids and I will just eat them from the can. They'll go with dinner or lunch or whatever. I love pineapple. I love fruit. I love pineapple in general, but it's not touching my pizza. Pizza is meant to be savory and salty and meaty and greasy. I should not
Jake Sexton (01:12:45.136)
and sweet.
Jey (01:12:46.112)
It's not meant to be sweet. It's not meant to be sweet. No, no, no. Sweet is for dessert or for like a cookie pizza or something that's specifically made to be like a sweet dough for like maybe a cookie, a cookie pizza or whatever, but it's not meant for a traditional like hearty savory pizza itself. But we could go all day on that. First question of the YDP3.
is where are you rooted? And by rooted I mean it could be physically like where you are rooted, like where you live, but you could also interpret it to like what are your core values, what makes up the innermost workings of who you are. And we'll shoot to place it on this one first.
Clayson Fields (01:13:19.133)
Uh
Clayson Fields (01:13:28.014)
What is your background? Physically, I guess I'm rooted in neon Kentucky. But in any other sense, I'm rooted in, I guess, like, we talk a lot at our, like amongst Jake and I and then our church and this and that about identity.
about being who God made us to be and who He says that we are. And so that's really, that's become my rooting and my foundation over the last few years is that no matter what, I am this. I'm loved, I'm fearfully wonderfully made, I'm loved by God. And that's like...
that's firm, like they won't be shaken even when I am. And I'm really thankful for that.
Jey (01:14:35.82)
Go ahead, Jake.
Jake Sexton (01:14:39.711)
Um, I live in a smaller part than Clayson. So I'm like 20 minutes away from Clayson. So I can just say that I'm rooted physically in Kentucky. Um, it's, it's not big enough to even say the name of, but, um, you know, I would say like, you know, a part of my core values would be, uh, creativity that we were made by like, you know, a creative God who the very first way expresses himself as, as a creator.
And so I believe inherently we were all creative, maybe not in the same way of like drawing your comics or this or that, but like we all have this sense of, uh, creativity about us. Now I would, I would, the only other thing I would say about that is that we are duly loved to the, to the point where, um,
I believe it's his mercy that sustains us. He actually, part of my core values is he delights in us to an extent that we can be real with him. That when we're disappointed, we be like, God, what the heck? Like David, man, just be like, where were you? Where are you? You know? And let that turn into, from lamenting into this place of being like, but I know that you're good. Even though we're struggling here or there, I know that you're good.
Jey (01:15:55.936)
Love that. And the next one, next question here is what grounds you? Like when you're feeling all stressy and depressy or anxious, see, uh, my favorite saying stressy and depressy, um, overused, overplayed on the podcast, but it's the best way to phrase this question. When you're feeling all the emotions where you're all the way at the top and you really need to come back down to earth, what are some things that help you ground yourself, bring you back down and snap you back into reality?
Clayson Fields (01:16:27.906)
Um, I feel like a broken record, but you know, it's like I was talking about in the last question, like God really, uh, he grounds me out. He, he puts me in perspective. And also, uh, I would be remiss if I didn't mention, uh, my wife, like, you know, she keeps me.
Jey (01:16:32.129)
Okay.
Clayson Fields (01:16:47.53)
She keeps me straight, I guess, you know, like...
Clayson Fields (01:16:54.19)
You know, like she grounds me out even like in the times I am freaking out or I am, you know, out of sorts. Like she has a really good way of, you know, putting things in perspective and, and pulling me back in, I guess, you know.
Jey (01:17:11.532)
For sure. Jake?
Jake Sexton (01:17:13.831)
I would say for me, I kind of gave you the sauce a little early, man. I should have saved some, um, you know, for me, man, like to do like a brain dump and to like really, um, to process what I'm feeling, uh, like what I would say with it, with like David, essentially all my, all my journals are just like the book of Psalms over and over again.
Jey (01:17:18.176)
Ha ha.
Jake Sexton (01:17:34.515)
Uh, to where it's like, yeah, if I'm anxious or if I'm, if I'm in this place of being like, I'm really irritated, I'm like, there's, there's so much stuff going on here. I need to get it on paper so I can see what's happening. If that makes sense. And so that's, that's kind of what grounds me is just to sit down and process. And, uh, just kind of see where I'm at, what I'm doing and kind of hit the pause button.
Jey (01:17:59.672)
that. Love that. All right, last question here.
I'll give you guys both a chance to answer this one because this one's good. So let's say I make my way out to Kentucky. I actually have some family out in Kentucky, so it's good to know that I got some extra friends out there. Love Kentucky. I haven't been since I was a very small child. Barbecues next to none. Love love Kentucky food in Kentucky. Oh, so good. Anyways, got off track. Let's say we're all at a park together. I don't know you guys or I don't.
You guys are individually at a park and I'm there at the same park with you at the same time, different days, but at the same park, right? I see you, you're playing or hanging out with your kids and you just look happy, joyful, like you got the secret sauce, the secret recipe or whatever. And then you look across the park, we make eye contact, classic love story, right? I see you across the park. And I look at you and you look at me and you're like...
Whoa, that guy looks down, sad, depressed, like, just like super unhappy. Like you can just tell like that's the vibe I'm putting off. I don't want to be at the park. I don't want to be here at all. I'm miserable. All the things we make eye contact. I see you're like, wow, that dude looks happy. He looks genuinely happy. And then I start to walk over to you because classic love story. Of course, keep that in mind. Um.
I start to walk over to you and I sit down next to you and I just like. Whew.
Jey (01:19:40.832)
What are you doing, man? Like, how are you so happy? What is your sauce? What is your recipe? Because what's in your barbecue sauce? Because I don't have that recipe. I don't have that sauce. I'm down, I'm in the dumps. And you're like, yeah, you saw that. You're like, I see that, duh. And I'm just like, what are you doing that I'm not doing? Like...
in that moment you get to tell me one, maybe one and a half pieces of advice to me in that moment. So if you listen to the show, you're probably familiar with this question. But what are you telling me in that moment as your one kind of one and a half piece of advice?
Clayson Fields (01:20:35.982)
broken record, once again, that's the warning. I would say, man, I don't know what's going on, but it's like, Jesus loves you, and I love you, and...
Clayson Fields (01:20:55.13)
That's what it's all about. And for the half bits, like look for beauty in the ashes. Look for the silver lining. It's all about perspective.
Jey (01:21:15.28)
Jake?
Jake Sexton (01:21:17.691)
Um, I wouldn't, I'd say really corny joke and trying to make you laugh first because we're in, we're in love. Right. And, um, you know, I, Clayson totally stole, he went two and a half pieces. It's not fair, honestly. Um, because I, you know, I was going to say, um, I think it really, I think it has to do with, with perspective and the way that we see things, um, that this is what I'd say to you and just.
Jey (01:21:31.628)
Not fair, no.
Jake Sexton (01:21:47.107)
you know, to delight or to find pleasure in where we're at, what we're doing, no matter how small.
Jake Sexton (01:21:57.435)
without giving you a whole book. Cause I want to give you a book. I'd be like, I'll give, I'll share my email address with you and be like, let's get up. Let's sing out.
Jey (01:21:59.756)
Haha
Jey (01:22:04.972)
I love that. No, I love that. I've had so many great answers to that question. Those are just two more for the, for the book. One day I'll put a whole compilation together of all the answers to these questions. One day, not today. But you guys, thank you so much for your time. Thank you to our listeners for listening and getting through this with us. It's been super fun talking to you guys. Go ahead and tell all the people where they can find more about you guys, more about your shows.
Jake Sexton (01:22:19.347)
No.
Jey (01:22:33.632)
or just more of you guys. Go ahead and plug yourself away.
Clayson Fields (01:22:39.79)
Yeah, so our podcast is the Rad Dad Roundtable on We're on Spotify and Apple podcasts at the moment In our Instagram you can find us there. That's our main Well, I don't know. I'm not on the X Twitter, whatever it is. So I don't know but I know I can I usually use the Instagram and that's at Rad Dad Roundtable
Jey (01:23:06.56)
Well guys, okay, go ahead.
Clayson Fields (01:23:07.435)
With X sorry, so sorry. I forgot to plug the Twitter X Twitter
Jake Sexton (01:23:14.063)
which is currently just a GIF of Sinistar.
Clayson Fields (01:23:17.341)
Yeah
Jey (01:23:18.552)
I love that. Yeah guys, well, it's been a pleasure. It's been awesome talking to you guys. Listeners, make sure you guys go and check out RadDad Roundtable. You can find him on Instagram, at R-A- Wow, that was a...
Jake Sexton (01:23:37.871)
We wanted to make it as long as possible.
Jey (01:23:39.972)
Yeah, well, I mean, mine is Young Dad Pod, Y-O- So I mean, you know, super. It's hard to fit a podcast name into a handle, I found. But on that note, thank you guys so much. It's been super fun talking to you guys. Let's see if our audience is still with us. They usually are at this point. They didn't go home.
Jake Sexton (01:24:01.872)
Thank you.
Jey (01:24:10.316)
Alright, it's stopping. It says it's stopping.
Jake Sexton (01:24:18.535)
Thank you for your time.
Jey (01:24:20.128)
Thank you guys.
Jey (01:24:24.192)
Hold on.