I have always been and likely will always be someone who goes on creative kicks occasionally, where ideas, motivation, and passion all strike simultaneously. What happens next and far too often for far too long is that the break goes on and on until I have to force myself to write about something.
In the last month, I have learned several lessons, taken some chances, and had to rest and be patient in some aspects of life. First, I was denied several times for apartments and new living places. My lease ended up being up, and I had to extend for a month at a much higher rate; however, the same message kept coming my way: be patient, rest in the Lord, give it up to God, and know that there is a plan for you. I had gotten this message from my brother, grandma, church leader, and dad, and of course, I felt it myself repeatedly.
I was sitting in church this past Sunday, and the worship time was just meant for me, and the only way for me to share is to share the order of songs and then the Lyrics that have stuck with me since.
You've Already Won
Raise A Hallelujah
King of My Heart
The lyrics that stick went a little something like this:
"I'm fighting a battle you've already won. No matter what comes my way, I will overcome it. I don't know what you're doing but know what you've done."
"I'm going sing in the middle of the storm. Louder and louder, you're going to hear my praises roar."
"You are good, good. Oh, you're never going to let me down."
These lyrics quickly became the soundtrack playing in my heart and my soul. I have continued to pray, choose over and over again to give it up, to rest in the Lord, to let go of my anxiety, the weight of being a single father, knowing I can't afford the place I am at. The additional worries and stress that came with the apartment were feelings that broke me and have made it complicated for weeks to breathe, think, and function to the point I got sick twice and had to miss some work because of the illness and stress I brought on myself.
The message I got from my church leader, Pastor Matt, was simple and referred to James 1:2-6 and the context here was James asking for wisdom and trying to learn and understand the truth of things going around him. (I am slightly off here on the context, but that's the gist.)
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,
3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
4. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
5 If you lack wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.
It took me about six weeks to learn and understand that I was being given a test of faith, a new meaning of understanding, patience, and testing to ask for help and guidance, and going beyond just relying on myself, which is problematic for me as an individual because that's just not who I am at all.
It took me going to church, sitting alone and being on the brink and needing, and at the point where I have honestly given it to the Lord, I prayed over and over and over for the wisdom, blessing, and miracle, and it came. It always comes because we don't know what the Lord is doing, but we know what he has done for us to this point in our lives.
It was about being grateful I still had a bed to sleep in, a roof over my family's head, food on the table, clean water to drink and bathe in, and remembering to be grateful. I had to remember that I have been given so much, I am always given so much, there will be a path forward, and I just am not seeing it right now, but in reality, I wasn't seeing it yet cause it wasn't the right timing, place or whatever ever other reason there was.
In life, we struggle through challenges, ups and downs, trials and tribulations, and we don't always see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have learned that that's on purpose sometimes. We have something more significant, greater, and more essential to learn in these moments before we see the light. The light is always there; the Lord and God are always there for us; we aren't let down as long as our faith and focus are where they need to be.
Today and every day, let's all Raise a Hallejuah in the middle of the storm like a Lions roar to remind ourselves that He's got us and will always be there for us. The Battle is already won, the blood is shed, and the King is alive.