Jey (00:12.153)

And it's time to get girthy, as they say on the streets. Welcome into this week's episode of the podcast. Super excited to be with you guys today. I'm Jay, I'm your host. And before we jump too far into it, I do just want to shout out the description of every episode first and foremost. Something I need y'all to do.

Of course, everyone wants you to like, follow, subscribe and do all those arbitrary things, reviews, five stars, subscribe, all those things. If you want to, cool. You know how to do that. You would have done it by now if you wanted to, if you've been listening long enough. But what I need y'all to do, because this didn't start until like episode 80 something, episode 90, I need you to go down to the description of the episode, hit the subscribe link to the email newsletter. It comes out twice a week.

Once midweek to give you all a boost and then once on weekends to give you a preview or an early pre-save link For what's coming up that week's episode so that you get first access to it You get first dib so you never miss an episode so go down hit the subscribe all of that sign up Email link got to do it got to do it. So without further ado Welcome Tony. You're super excited to have you

The people out there are probably wondering why did he say girthy to very start the podcast? Because it's a buzzword it gets it gets you interested in what we're going to talk about. Um, you nasty um But no tony you're the host of the great girth podcast head girthy Um your guys's podcast a little bit about it. You guys are two dudes who are tired of the bs So you started a podcast to talk about it

You guys cover everything from movies to games to music to comedy to sports to wrestling to life to social hot topics Etc you name it if it's a topic you guys hate it and you guys do not care You guys give your opinion your view your point of view Uh in such a fun relatable enjoyable way um, your guys's specialty happens to be politics, which Everyone loves talking about politics just kidding. No one likes talking about politics because

Tony (01:56.322)

I'm going to be talking about the first step in the process of getting the right information. So, I'm going to be talking about the first step in the process of getting the right information. So, I'm going to be talking about the first step in the process of getting the right information. So, I'm going to be talking about the first step in the process of getting the right information.

Jey (02:23.613)

It's a taboo subject, but it shouldn't be. Uh, it's get informed and to have a conversation is where I land on that. Um, and then also movie ranking tier lists, uh, judging by movie rankings as well. So Tony, you're also a father of three. Um, you are, your kids range from nine to a couple of months old at the time of this podcast recording, right? Uh, and then.

Tony (02:26.592)

Right.

Tony (02:50.501)

Yes, sir.

Jey (02:54.301)

Yeah, man, so many so many good things. I could go on and on a little bit more about you. To you, being a dad means preparing your children to live in a world that no longer exists, to guide them through life lessons that most aren't prepared for and to ensure they are able to begin at the starting line without any issues. You hope that you'll be able to teach them these teachings, that they'll be able to make their own decisions without hesitation.

and to have the knowledge on what it takes to be a decent person and the ability to adapt to a multitude of environments that they will be ready to step into. So without further ado, that's a little bit about Tony, his viewpoints as a father. Tell us about you. Tell us about the Great Girth podcast. Tell us about how it started, where it came from, where it's going and about you just as an individual, where you started, where you came from, where you're at now and where you're going.

Tony (03:50.198)

Okay, um, let's see, so...

It's a bit of a long story, so I'll just give you the summary of it. When I was about 27, 28 years old, an old high school friend of mine asked if I listened to podcasts and I said yes. That was my current thing because I wasn't into podcasts until years after, man. I missed the boat because I know that 2010 is when the hype started and then over time it just kind of jumped. But I had no interest until later in life.

You know, I'm at work one night, I'm listening to one podcast, and they got me thinking, you know, these guys are from where I'm from, Colorado. And they started with just a phone and a laptop, and now they're one of the top podcasts. I can definitely do it. At least I thought I could. So, you know, I had that thought in the back of my head for the longest time. And then finally, my old high school buddy says he had an idea for a podcast he wanted to do. And he told me about it. He was like, you know, I kind of want to take...

Joe Rogan formula, which is just cover everything and just kind of see how it goes from there. He was saying, let's treat it like it's a podcast where it's you and a few buddies at a coffee shop or you're drinking a cup of coffee and you just kind of throw stuff at the wall and whatever goes, then that's how the conversation flows. So we started up a little podcast that only lasted like eight episodes. Just him being a dad, me being a dad, it was kind of hard to figure out what we were gonna do.

We decided like, hey, let's take a little break. But during that break, I kind of had motivation. I had a craving to do more episodes. And I would send him all these ideas and he was like, yeah, awesome. And over time, he stopped texting me. And so I figured maybe he was mad at me. And I reached out to him and asked him what was up. And he said, you know, I've just been busy, man. I don't have time for a lot of the fun stuff. My girl's getting kind of mad at me because I've spent so much time hanging out with you doing the podcasting, which arguably.

Tony (05:50.942)

I get it. He's a dad, she's a mom. Makes sense. So he had basically hit me with, you know, I don't know if I have that motivation that you do. And I told him, you know, I love you, dude, but if it's okay with you, I'm going to continue on without you, even if that means starting my own podcast, which he was fine with, you know, it was, it was a mutual ending, but I could tell it kind of hurt his feelings. And it wasn't to be malicious. I just

Once we started doing it, man, I had this fire in me. I wanted to keep doing this shit. And he just, he was wanting to do one episode every month or two. And I had a vision of pumping him out every week, every day, whatever, you know? And while things didn't work out, he let me have the rights to that podcast and I've re-released him as a great Earth edition episode. But moving on, months later, I had all these ideas about how I would start my own podcast. The problem was is I had never done solo.

So I had to take out a sketch pad and write what I would say. And I even tried to do it. And it's to anyone out there doing solo work, I give you pretty much the most respect because that is a really, really hard thing to do. It is harder than most people think. It is nothing. It's tough.

Jey (07:05.169)

Oh no, it's, it's crazy. It's so difficult for solo work. Like I've been there, like I've recorded bonus episodes that are just solo episodes, like early in the podcast on our side, like I would record let's talks where I would just pick a couple of topics, but I would bullet point stuff out.

Tony (07:12.615)

Ahem.

Jey (07:23.725)

um, and write about and talk about it and like try to explain it. And then like when I produced and made the, uh, well-balanced dad diet well over almost a year ago to date now at the time of this recording, um,

Like those were all solo like just to go for 10, 20 minutes solo. It's you need to have a lot of talking points or you need to be just hilarious or something, um, cause it's a respect, respect to the solos. I couldn't do this show without having guests of all kinds on anyways. Continues. I just wanted to echo that.

Tony (07:46.189)

Right.

Tony (07:51.634)

Ahem.

Tony (08:00.541)

Ahem.

Tony (08:07.874)

No, you're good. It's um, it is it's tough though, man I couldn't even do it I tried and I did like a 30-minute episode where I ranted and it was just a you know a giraffe episode While it felt like I had a formula I was listening to it and was completely unorganized which isn't always a bad thing I'm gonna get into that later, but I Looked at it like okay. I have something but I clearly am missing something else, which is a guest So I figured I'll just do a guest every

episode. I'll reach out to friends, family, people I know that, you know, they might want to talk about the topic with me. Well, once I get everything set up, and keep in mind, this is me starting it with just an iPhone and like a little microphone cord for $9 off Amazon. Well, my wife's cousin, he, he and I had been hanging out, you know, for the last few years and I asked him to be a guest and he's like, yeah, sure. And so he comes on and

It was just natural, dude. Right away, you could just tell there was something. But we held back, you know? Four or five episodes later, I keep having him on, and one day he hits me, he's like, so...

You ever gonna have like a second partner on the show? Like what's your plan? And I was like, honestly, I was thinking about asking you man, because it just makes sense. You've been on every single episode. There's clearly chemistry, it works. So, you know, he was excited. He was like, I've just been waiting for you to ask me. So Austin, yeah, Austin came aboard from there. And I tell everyone that Austin's Brain Child is the name of our podcast. Cause...

Jey (09:38.006)

Oh! Hehehe!

Tony (09:45.354)

We were writing down names on a piece of paper and just throwing them at the wall, seeing if it would stick. And he had said, let's try the great girth podcast, which at the time we thought was the stupidest thing we'd ever heard. But four or almost five years later, it makes sense now. It's just so, it's normal. I'm glad that he came up with it. And you know, I started that podcast because I wanted to continue the formula that I was doing with my buddy. However, my cousin, his expertise is politics.

and I was dabbling in politics. So it started out as a purely political, social topic forum. And over time, we kind of learned, like we don't want to just talk politics because even though that's like, you know, our bread and butter, we love talking about comic books and movies and video games, man. So we just kind of decided instead of trying to figure out what this show is, we're gonna let the show tell us what it is. So we're gonna just keep doing episodes. We're gonna pump them out.

of down the road, we'll find out what our niche is, you know, like we'll figure that out. Well, I gotta tell you, man, after all these years, I still don't know what it is. I think that we're mostly just known for being, I don't wanna say controversial because it's not like we try. I think it's just that we're a rare breed of people. We know that there's a set of standards and practices. There's a guideline you gotta follow when you're doing this stuff because, you know, we all know who owns the internet, who owns Instagram and Facebook, but.

The thing is, is Austin and I are individuals that don't care about that. We tend to operate within our roles. So that means getting a half reach or even distribution cut, whatever, we'll take it. But yeah, that's pretty much how we do it, man. We just kind of, we don't hold back on our opinion because, you know, Austin has his own reasonings. Mine personally, I think it's just that if you are not honest as an individual, whether it's politically related or...

just a criticism or whatever. I feel that you are sacrificing who you are as a person. You're not really being you when you do that. And I understand being respectful to others. Totally get that. I'm not here to shit on anyone that wants to be respectful. There are some people that run their show that way and I give them a credit for it. They're probably doing better than I am. So you know what? More power to them. But I just, I've always been someone that I don't like being told what to do. I don't like being told what I have to follow.

Jey (12:09.005)

Cough cough

Tony (12:10.582)

I've never been that way, man. And it'll shock a lot of people because when I started my podcast, I was still a registered Democrat. I was very much like into the left leaning game. And people say I'm right leaning now, but I'm really, man, I'm just more of an independent kind of a hippie at heart, but because of that, I've learned like, yeah, I'm not good at authority and I'm not good at being told what to do. So a lot of that blends into the podcast. And.

You know, I try hard to fight it back because not everyone needs a rant. We don't need to make these episodes just to shit on people or shit on topics, but it happens. And I feel that unfortunately people like it, so that's what I keep doing. People love the rants, the meltdowns. They love hearing a detailed analytic review on things. So, you know, that's where we're going with it. And to tell you the truth, man,

I really don't know what the future of the podcast is because I feel like even though we've only been doing this for a couple of years, it almost feels like we're just now figuring out what it feels like to scratch the surface. I think there's a whole lot more about us. I really feel like we're just getting started, but we've been doing it for about five years.

Jey (13:27.833)

I love that. I love that. No, I think that's, I think that's so cool. And politics, it's such a taboo topic in general, and it absolutely should not be whatsoever. Like, and my podcast, our podcast here, the Young Dad podcast,

Tony (13:39.863)

Right.

Jey (13:47.825)

If you scroll through the episodes, they're not in any set order. Like one week we'll talk to a mom podcast or the next we'll talk to a single dude. The next week we're talking about religion. The next week I'm talking to the bucked up CEO. The next week I'm just talking to a college friend. The next week.

I'm all over the place. Like this podcast ever transforming. If you go back to the very early episodes of the catalog, we were doing segments. And then it took my brother turning me on to, it's funny. You mentioned Joe Rogan turning me on to the Joe Rogan podcast. It'd be like, listen to this. This is the direction I think, you know, we should go conversation, things like that. And I'm like, okay. I started listening. Now I listen to Joe Rogan damn near every day. Um, I listened to him nearly every day. I listened to America.

Tony (14:04.768)

Exactly.

Tony (14:22.76)

Yeah.

Tony (14:29.482)

Yep.

Jey (14:34.375)

on trial almost every day. I listen to the president's daily brief nearly every day. I literally realized yesterday last night while I'm making dinner, because you know what I told my smart speaker to play when I was making dinner last night or when I'm getting ready in the mornings? I told it to play America on trial or I told it to play the latest episode because the president's daily brief doesn't morning brief and an afternoon brief.

Tony (14:59.379)

Yeah.

Jey (14:59.629)

And like, I'm an old man. I'm officially in my old man era because the first thing I want to listen to when I get home is news, uh, and politics. Um, but those two podcasts, Mike Baker, Josh Hammer, they do so well on those daily podcasts, they explain it so well. Like they, they talk a lot of shit on either side, whatever side is deserving of the shit talking, they talk shit. Um.

Tony (15:24.352)

Yeah.

Jey (15:29.501)

And to be able to do that is such a talent. Like for you guys to be able to, you know, talk the appropriate shit on the side that deserves it versus the other side and then do it back. Like it's such a talent because people cannot do that.

Tony (15:43.807)

Yeah.

Jey (15:48.789)

people are so caught up in their one side. It's like, it's ride or die. It's absolutely ride or die. And it's like, if you're not with me, you're against me. If you're not true to the blue, you're the worst person on earth. If you're not a hardcore maga, you're a little sissy baby boy, whatever.

Tony (15:53.47)

Oh yeah.

Jey (16:14.485)

kind of thing. And it jumps in between like I'm a Christian, I won't ever deny that on the podcast. I'll talk God, I'll talk faith, I'll talk all the things. Like I was at church just a few weeks ago, it wasn't like a church thing, it was actually like I volunteer and help with youth ministry and then I also help with our Awana program. So I was talking to some of the other Awana leaders, me and a couple of the other dads, we were just sitting and talking and

Tony (16:15.714)

You're right.

Tony (16:21.282)

Same here.

Jey (16:44.509)

with the other dad, he loves to, he not loves, but he brings it up a lot. And we were talking about gender issues and we were talking about the local stuff going on here. Like at one of the high schools, like we have a kid that identifies as a cat. And a high school student that identifies as a cat. And we were talking about just how.

We ended up talking deeply about like, cause they know I'm a mental health professional, so we tied it back into that and we talked about the mental health aspect of it and when we talked about the parenting aspect of it and we dove deep into that conversation before we knew it, we were just bouncing on topic to topic and topic, but like we weren't arguing like, of course our viewpoints align because our values align, right? Because we're all sitting in the same room. We wouldn't be there if we didn't have like the same set of values more or less. Um.

But we weren't even like arguing or fighting about it. We were just like having like a really good conversation. It's like, oh yeah, I heard about that. Did you also hear about this thing going on over here? And then did you hear about this thing going on and over here, or did you hear about that? Like that's pretty much the reason why I keep up on politics at this point in my life, just so I can have those informed conversations. So I can like have a conversation because it's so important to stay informed.

You know, I've been talking about that more and more on the podcast, especially this year. I've been trying to hit it hard every episode about how important it is for you to vote in your elections. How important it is to vote in national elections, vote in your local elections, make sure you're doing your research on like your school boards and your local officials and making sure you're putting the right people there. Uh, and all those things. So it's so important.

Because if you don't know where your values are, if you just say, oh yeah, I'm a Democrat. Okay. Why? If I ask you why I want to know why you're a Democrat. If you ask me why I'm a Republican or why I vote Republicans, like, okay, well, because I feel like they have a better grip on the financial, the financial aspect of the economy. I feel like they have a better grip on. The.

Tony (18:33.854)

Right, why? Yeah.

Jey (18:49.545)

You know, geo, the world geopolitical landscape, they have better geopolitical relations, like worldwide, you know, when Trump was in office, pretty sure Ukraine wouldn't have happened pretty sure the, the same, uh, Facebook, Instagram that you mentioned that was hacked.

Tony (18:53.162)

Yeah.

Tony (19:03.308)

Yeah.

Jey (19:09.333)

Probably wouldn't be getting hacked. The AT&T hack wouldn't have happened kind of thing. If we had the red-sided office, these things probably wouldn't be happening. Israel, Hamas, it probably would have been done in a month kind of thing. It would have been negotiated and figured out in a month. Gaza wouldn't be completely leveled.

Tony (19:28.213)

Right.

Jey (19:35.365)

you know, it wouldn't be to the point that it is now. We wouldn't have riots, we wouldn't have college campuses with white kids, and you know, different kids of the LGBTQ plus community, you know, holding signs to the river, to the sea, in support of Palestine, because they don't know what that means.

Tony (19:55.874)

Right.

Jey (20:00.461)

They don't understand what that sign means. And then the irony within that is like the LGBTQIA plus community. If they went to Palestine, what's going to happen to them? They're dead on arrival.

Tony (20:00.77)

Well that's the...

Tony (20:09.719)

He he

Tony (20:17.143)

Yeah.

Tony (20:23.418)

Yes, that's the unfortunate part in all this, man. I mean, I always tell people, you know, I always tell people, say what you will about Republicans, but you can't deny the fact that Republicans are really good at taking care of their communities. They're really good at taking pride in their towns and their cities and so on and so forth. Because, you know, I do have a problem with this two-party system. I really wish we could figure something else out, but...

Jey (20:27.378)

It just sucks.

Jey (20:52.913)

Just vote for the best candidate. They exactly. I mean, that's why the public Republicans are normally the extremely wealthy. Uh, and you, how you're so right. Like on like the cities, look at San Francisco.

Tony (20:53.186)

You can't deny that Republicans are very good with money. You know, it's...

Tony (21:07.774)

It's sad, dude, because it used to look beautiful. I was there 10 years ago. It was gorgeous the last time I went.

Jey (21:10.127)

It used to... Yeah.

I lived in the Bay. I grew up in the Bay area. I used to love going to San Francisco.

Tony (21:16.774)

Okay, yeah, I went to... Yeah, my parents would take me to Pier 49. And, you know, it used to look fun, but I see pictures and videos of it now, man. I don't know if I'd go, because it looks like here, downtown Denver. They're everywhere, man.

Jey (21:22.906)

Yep.

Jey (21:33.405)

Yeah. Like I took my senior year prom date. We went to Pier 39 for like our prom weekend date kind of thing. That was, I don't even know how many years ago. But it's like my family and I, we used to just go over to Pier 39.

Tony (21:55.467)

Yep.

Jey (21:55.649)

for fun on a weekend. We would go over to San Francisco for the fun stuff, you know, going over the bridge, hanging out by the Golden Gate Park, hanging out down by the university. Like there's so much to do, but now it's just like, don't go over there. But yet they can't, they show that they have the ability, if they really wanted to, to clean it up and keep it clean. Because when Xi Jinping came into town, guess what they did? They cleaned it all up. They got all the homeless off the street.

Tony (22:03.874)

There's a lot to do.

Tony (22:24.426)

Right.

Jey (22:25.743)

So they have the abilities, they just don't care because that's not what pays because if they are trying to always combat and have a solution for the houseless population and just the fact that they have like a proper name for homeless people tells you that there's a bigger issue beyond that.

Cause if you're just, if we go from like homeless people, so you can't, yeah, we understand there's homeless people, but now we have a houseless population, come on, if we're putting a first person, like a person first kind of name behind an up community, there's something deeper there. I'm sorry. Wake up. There's something deeper there.

Tony (22:55.544)

Yeah.

Tony (23:09.31)

It's a mental problem, man. We don't, we give them phones and apartments, but we won't give them mental health.

Jey (23:15.537)

Nope. And the thing is, like even that, like the Southern border crisis, like my fiancee's family's, you know, from Mexico, they're not from this country originally. Like her parents were born in Mexico, her and her siblings were born here kind of thing. And they're great people. Her family's fantastic. Like I don't have a problem with good people who are coming from the South or from another country who are just here trying to...

Tony (23:36.363)

Right.

Jey (23:44.053)

Have a have a life kind of thing what I do have a problem with Are people from these other countries who are criminals who are being shipped up here? Killing girls on college campuses killing and injuring legal office police force first responders in Big cities pissing and shitting in our cities

Tony (24:07.455)

Right.

Jey (24:08.073)

Like, that's what I have an issue with. Like, I have no issues with the people who are just really here just trying to work, make a living, get their citizenship, trying to create a better life, a more sustainable life for themselves and their families. No problem. If you're gonna come and contribute, absolutely, you're more than welcome. I'm an American through and through.

Tony (24:10.423)

Me too.

Jey (24:32.033)

I want to positively contribute to society. My kids are going to positively contribute to society. No way, shape or form are they not going to be productive members of society? Cause if they're not, then I, I fucked up somewhere along the line of the dad. Um, kind of thing. I fucked up somewhere. I'm going to own that. Like, why the fuck aren't my kids productive members of society? Where did I fuck up? Where did I go wrong? Um, kind of thing. So it's so important to make sure that.

We're informed on these issues because honestly, the border should have been shut down two years ago. The border should have been shut down. They should have never stopped construction on the border wall because the reason behind the border wall was to keep the wrong people out and let the right people in instead of hundreds of thousands of people every single day. Like what Texas is doing and the fact that so many states have gotten behind Texas and Abbott.

Tony (25:15.7)

Right.

Jey (25:28.645)

And sent national guardsmen sent materials sent barbed wires sent fencing sent officers. Yeah, it's like. And the states have all the rights to do it, you know, the Santas in Florida. They're like the sense is like, well, I'm immune from whatever you try to do to me. So I'm going to do whatever I want. Kind of thing like these governors know like where they stand. Like

Tony (25:35.23)

It's sad that it's gone to that.

Tony (25:41.76)

Ahem.

Tony (25:51.062)

Yeah.

Tony (25:54.402)

That's what's sad, man. The governors, they have more pride, but they also have more guts to do what the president won't. Because, you know, man, like, I'm not a Biden fan, but I'm also not hoping for the worst because it is our country that he's looking after. So it's scary as shit seeing what's happening. But I'm still hoping he can do his job. And of course, he hasn't. It's been...

Jey (26:21.339)

Oh no.

Tony (26:22.306)

This border thing, man, it makes me so upset because, and I was just talking about this on an episode we did recently where my grandparents were telling me that they have a problem with somebody who comes here illegally because they did it properly. And they're like, dude, if we could do it, anybody can do it. And they had to do it at a time where it wasn't modified. Like, I will say this, to become a citizen here is difficult. But back then in the 50s and 60s, it was much harder than people think.

Jey (26:50.217)

It was 99% impossible to do it back then.

Tony (26:54.399)

Yeah, now it's more catered to you.

Jey (26:57.029)

Now it's about 40, 50, it's about 40% impossible. Like the odds are in your favor. If you follow it right and you do the right steps and you take the right things and you do some research or you already have some family and whatnot here, it's easier kind of thing. But the part that bothers me the most is that like you're killing Americans. We're not doing anything about it.

Tony (27:01.108)

Yeah.

Tony (27:07.991)

Yeah.

Jey (27:23.357)

Like the fact that it has to be the governors banding together to do what our spineless Washington DC officials will not do because they're worried if they do it, they're going to lose votes. You already lost the election. Your election is lost. Like it's March. And I'm saying that the election is lost. Like there is no way, shape or form that the Democrats win the 2024 election. Even if they, even if they put Biden back on the ballot.

Tony (27:32.322)

Sad.

Tony (27:36.821)

Yeah.

Tony (27:48.286)

I don't think so either, just because...

Jey (27:52.813)

Even if they replace Biden with Newsom and Nikki Haley, even if they replace Biden with Michelle Obama and Nikki Haley and do a whole female ballot, they don't have a lot of options because they don't have a lot of good politicians.

Tony (28:06.199)

Right.

Tony (28:12.45)

They don't, man. Unfortunately.

Jey (28:15.017)

And what happens if the red, if red gets elected, if Trump gets elected or RFK Jr. gets elected, then just, I'm worried, but they're, they're going to get rid of everybody and they're going to bring in like Vivek Ramashwami. They're going to bring in, um, the young, smart, intelligent, bright, high value, high character, well-spoken.

Tony (28:23.298)

I'm a little worried.

Tony (28:30.727)

Oh yeah.

Jey (28:43.665)

essentially young men to fill these roles and drain it. They're going to get rid of all these other politicians. That's what's going to happen is they're going to cut programs. They're going to cut, cut because they know it's time. I guarantee Trump gets elected his first day in office. He cuts.

Tony (28:45.547)

Yeah.

Tony (28:59.848)

Yeah.

Jey (29:05.313)

30% of government officials. He cuts 30% of DC stuff. By the end of his second term, he's cut 50% of it. He's stripped it down kind of like Elon did with Twitter. Elon's probably going to be part of the U S government by the end of Trump's second term, you know, Elon's, Elon's on board. I'm surprised Elon has a bought out true social yet and combined it with X. Um, he might as well. I think that would be a great business collaboration. Um.

Tony (29:18.523)

I was gonna say Elon's headin' there.

Jey (29:34.957)

kind of thing, but that's a whole nother topic. But no, the election's lost. If RFK Jr. gets in, everybody's gone. Every single person that government's gone, he is doing a complete overhaul of day one. I would say about 70% of government will be overhauled. He's gonna keep the House and the Senate because he has to, and then after that.

Tony (29:48.919)

Yeah.

Jey (29:57.037)

He's overhauling every other major thing. He's putting higher priorities on school boards and school and everything. He's digging into states and everything and he's getting rid of everybody. He is making major, major changes. I think Trump same time, by this time in 2028, when we're talking about the 2028 election, we're the geopolitical landscape, which I assume right now is going to be led for the next four years by either.

the independence by RFK Jr. or by Trump and the Republicans. By the end of it, our government's going to look younger. It's going to be less. We're going to have better prosperity. We're going to have better school boards. We're going to be woke up from, you know, the woke nightmare. We're going to wake up and.

Tony (30:41.421)

Yes.

Tony (30:45.238)

This woke nightmare.

Jey (30:49.641)

You know, realize like, holy crap, we've been in this woke mindset. Like some things that from woke mind disease have been good. Tolerance, acceptance, love, all the things. Those are some good things that take out of this woke mind disease. But Trump derangement syndrome is going to be at an all time high, um, higher than it is now. And like, it's, it's going to look real different in four years, um, from where we are right now.

Tony (31:01.421)

Yeah.

Tony (31:06.719)

Yes.

Jey (31:18.421)

because I don't think there's a feasible way that the American people, even people I talk to at work, like I live in Washington, so on Washington you have to and it's the dumbest thing ever. In Washington state, I don't know if you know how our ballots work, but on our primary ballots we have to fill in the bubble of the political party we align with and then vote for a candidate within that party. It's so stupid.

Tony (31:40.52)

Yeah, same here.

Tony (31:46.718)

Oh, see that's, yeah, that's fucked up because they know that if they can get it like that, they can choose who you vote for, which is like, cause I'm from Colorado and they tried to remove Trump from the ballot. All they did initially.

Jey (31:58.869)

Yeah, yeah, they did. And then they had a nine on landslide in the Supreme Court. Five of those judges appointed by Biden, the Biden administration. Five of those judges are. Of the of the left and they all voted against it. They realized this is unconstitutional. They put the people before party and it was a huge step in the right direction for the American people being able to see like, Oh my God, like.

Tony (32:02.476)

Yep.

Tony (32:13.889)

Yep.

Tony (32:18.76)

Yes.

Tony (32:25.066)

Wanna think?

Right.

Jey (32:28.613)

Even these Supreme Court justices who were appointed are saying no to this, like, whoa, kind of thing. Let me wake up. And then that feeds into the conspiracy on the Super Tuesday stuff, the outages on Meta and T-Mobile, TikTok, Twitter. Everyone had an outage. Fun fact, Twitter's or TikTok's outage was the shortest of all the outages.

Tony (32:50.529)

Yes.

Tony (32:57.282)

See in here I thought that my Instagram got taken away from me. I had to look it up to find out that they were just having problems.

Jey (32:57.321)

Surprise, surprise.

Jey (33:02.757)

Oh yeah, no I'm pretty sure it was, because I don't know if you listen to it. Do you listen to PDB? Patrick David Best? Okay, did you listen to the episode where it happened to them while they were on air? Like their service went, okay their service went down, the AT&T thing. It happened while they were recording.

Tony (33:09.547)

Yes, I do.

Tony (33:16.418)

no i

Jey (33:24.553)

And they were like, what the heck is going on? And then again, the meta outage happened while they were recording. And then in between those two, they talked to the Blackwater CEO. Uh, and they talked, so in between those two, they talked to the Blackwater CEO, Blackwater, if the listeners unfamiliar, um, which they're just listening to this episode casually, they're like, we're going to talk about being a dad. Um, this is a part, part about being a dad. We're going to get there. I'm going to tie it all in here shortly, but they talked to the Blackwater CEO.

Tony (33:25.015)

See.

Tony (33:34.647)

course.

Jey (33:54.241)

And he said that it's probably about Blackwater deals with like cyber security, international security, private contracting, all the things like that. And he said, he said it's probably about 70% likely that it was a Chinese cyber attack, them just trying to see what they could do and that they sent correspondents to the U S saying, Hey, we're doing this. Let's see what happens. And then we did absolutely nothing.

Tony (34:15.622)

Right.

Jey (34:20.305)

And now they're going to scale this just enough to see how they can implement this into their, uh, plan attacks of Taiwan, which are coming in the next one coming within the next 60 days of the recording of this podcast. Um, kind of thing. And so it's the reason I think we got so into the politics here is because a politics are really fun to talk about when you.

Tony (34:34.551)

right.

Jey (34:46.717)

When you're informed, like you can have a really fun conversation. Like are Tony and I mad at each other right now? No. Are we exactly, are we fighting? Are we getting a little fired up? Yeah. Because of stuff we're passionate about, we care about, but we care about this stuff because it impacts our kids' future. I care about politics because it impacts my kid's future. I

Tony (34:49.343)

Yeah.

Tony (34:55.222)

Just a regular conversation.

Tony (35:06.368)

Yes.

Tony (35:10.422)

Bingo.

Jey (35:11.709)

I care about this stuff because it's going to impact myself, it's going to impact my community, it's going to impact my family, it's going to impact the kids and the population I serve within working in mental health.

It's going to impact everything I love and care about. Politics impacts nearly everything. And that's unfortunate that it has such a huge pull and impact on everything. But it does. And that's just the reality of it. If you're uninformed and you're not paying attention to how China could attack Taiwan, another big billion dollar pack, billions of dollars going there. If you're uninformed about how there's Iranian groups targeting Trump area officials right now.

Tony (35:24.904)

Ahem.

Jey (35:52.765)

If that's the first time you heard that, if it's the first time that you heard that the Huthies in the Red Sea are disrupting and probably the biggest cause of your oil prices and your gas prices going up right now again, because they're taking out ships, they're doing drone attacks. They've shot 50 plus missiles at cargo ships. Why the price of your goods is going up even more. And they're also killing civilians now. Like if you're only hearing about this stuff now.

Tony (36:14.902)

Yeah.

Jey (36:19.249)

that's way far away, you probably have no clue what's going on in your backyard. You probably have no clue that there's people getting murdered just within hours of you. You probably have no clue how rampant and terrible...

Tony (36:24.609)

Yeah.

Jey (36:32.873)

your school boards are. You probably have no clue if you live within the Tri-Cities like I do, you have no clue that your schools are likely next year cutting their mental health professionals in school outside of school counselors. They're cutting their mental health professionals because of the massive deficits they're in. But you know what they're not cutting? Sports. You know what they're not cutting? Anything else that really doesn't matter.

Tony (36:34.764)

Yeah.

Jey (37:02.097)

But they're cutting the mental health of your kids. And what happens when you take away the mental health services for kids? Bullying, more mental health needs, increased mental health needs. Put more pressure on these kids. You have worse educators. It's a snowball, man. You look at it big picture, rural landscape, and then you narrow it down to where your local community is.

Tony (37:02.236)

Yeah.

Tony (37:09.158)

Yeah, exactly.

Tony (37:29.751)

Yeah.

Jey (37:30.301)

I guarantee you look up your local school board. I've been talking about school boards a lot because I talked to a lot of educators and everything, but go and look at your local school board. Go and look at their public profiles. I guarantee.

70 to 80% of your local school boards never step foot in the classroom. I guarantee that same percentage is likely just using school board as a spring board to hire for, to further political gain. And it's sad, man, because like those school boards are everything for our kids. Like they dictate what happens to our kids in school, how the funds are spent, how the funds are allocated, how educators react, how they're getting paid, how they're getting treated and everything. The agendas that are being pushed, how they're being.

Tony (37:54.83)

Yep.

Jey (38:12.439)

you know, taught and everything. And it's, it's so important. You have to be informed. You have to educate yourself. If you're not educating yourself, I'm sorry. You're losing your part of your game. As a parent, you're losing the long game because you have to be, you need to be informed. You need to be informed. It's so important. So yeah, that's my rant on all of it and why, because it affects everything.

Tony (38:26.561)

Yeah.

Tony (38:37.142)

Well, that's how I feel about it too. I mean, people would be surprised to find out what's really going on in their schools because when you talk about it, you're a conspiracy theorist or a domestic terrorist or whatever, but when you talk about what's really going on in schools, whether it's politically related or just simply related to the fact that the kids are having their teachings being cut down because of funding.

It says something and people don't realize that until they actually look at it. Because, you know, you could talk all day about how there are agendas being pushed in schools, but people don't want to hear it because it relates to politics. But it's the truth. Unfortunately, there are not all educators are like this, but there's a good majority of young educators that came in, they got that position of power, and they're trying to push like the trans agenda on kids and stuff like that.

Whether it's a boy or a girl man, in my opinion, if even if they're in middle school, they don't need to learn anything about sex ed or straight or gay alliance, nothing, man. They don't need to know any of that stuff because they're still just children. In fact, even as an adult, you don't fully mature or know who you are until, well, until your later life. Like guys, it's, I think it's like between 28 and 30 is when we fully mature.

So if that's the case, I just don't feel like it's right to tell an 11 year old, even a 7 year old, that they might be a boy just because that's how they feel. That's gonna fuck up their head. They're not mentally capable of understanding what you're saying to them. So they just take it in, and then they mutilate themselves later in life, they grow up to regret it, and then we have a suicide rate that kinda spikes, it's... It's fucking sad, but...

the new world we live in, man, it's this way because people don't have conversations and don't speak up. I was watching Joe Rogan a while back and he had Dr. Phil on, and I remember Dr. Phil said something about.

Jey (40:44.705)

That episode was incredible. That was such a good episode. Dr. Phil broke it down.

Tony (40:47.616)

Right, remember when he-

Jey (40:52.649)

He got into it. He called out woke mind syndrome, the trans agenda. He called out all of it and he called it out in such a caring, empathetic way. He called it out in such a well-spoken, well-rounded way. And he doesn't want to do it. He literally, I didn't want to do this, but my wife convinced me. He said, she said, if not you, then who else? And. And why not Dr. Phil, who has one of the biggest platforms?

Tony (40:52.685)

Yeah.

Tony (40:59.756)

Yeah.

Tony (41:08.536)

Right.

Tony (41:15.386)

Yeah, because somebody has to say it.

Jey (41:21.843)

in the world.

Tony (41:23.527)

He said it best, man. He was like, you know, too many smart people are being quiet to appease others, you know, in their feelings. And he was like...

Jey (41:25.089)

Peace.

Jey (41:31.689)

Right. And I don't consider myself a smart person to be talking about it. You know,

Tony (41:37.246)

Right. But you know, it's one of those things that he's saying, it's a real problem. But because people get so twisted with their reactions, they don't even want to hear the critical part of it, which is this really is messing with kids. There's kids that have no idea what this stuff is. And it's being forced on them, whether it's by an educator or a classmate, not even just school, man. Look at movies and music. Enough said.

Jey (41:42.099)

Oh, huge.

Jey (42:04.245)

Yeah, look at movies, music, everything. And you're so right. Like my six-year-old doesn't need to hear about gender at six. Let her be a fucking kid. Middle schoolers, middle school is hard enough. Let them be fucking kids. High school. Let them enjoy these last few years that they get to be a kid and enjoy hanging out with their friends and doing sports and activities and extracurriculars. Like stop pushing. Like, yes, inform them, educate them on unprotected sex. You could get pregnant.

Tony (42:10.942)

Yeah. Letter but yeah.

Tony (42:19.92)

Yeah.

Tony (42:26.327)

May I?

Jey (42:32.129)

STIs they could happen use protection if you're not clean get yourself tested go to the doctor Kind of thing consent teach them about those important things um But stop teaching kids That oh, well, maybe you're a boy then so then they go the rest of their life thinking they're a boy And no, maybe they just like girls And they're just gay but no instead you force them into this

Tony (42:37.89)

Right.

Tony (42:55.003)

Yeah, exactly.

Jey (42:59.381)

you know gender affirming care which is bullshit um even dr phil called it out like we're pushing them in it's like why are we why are we pushing kids into this like they don't deserve that like let them be kids let them like figure it out let them go through life like if they like boys cool if they like girls cool if they're a girl that likes girls cool there's nothing wrong with that

Tony (43:03.296)

Yeah.

Tony (43:07.634)

It's a bunch of hogwash.

Jey (43:25.301)

But don't force them into like, oh, well, you're a boy and you like boys, so you need to go through a whole gender change and everything. Get castrated. Oh, well, no, I was just trying to figure it out. And now I'm castrated and I can't even have kids and get married kind of thing. So what the fuck is the point of life? Because that's what I want. Bam. Dead. Suicide rate. Why do we think the suicide rate is so high? I'm pretty sure last time I looked it up, the highest rate among teenagers and adolescents is of LGBTQ plus youth.

Tony (43:25.554)

Yeah.

Tony (43:54.78)

Yeah.

Jey (43:54.837)

America is the highest that population among that age range is the highest right there. The second highest to men in their 40s to 60s, Caucasian men in their 40s to 60s because who's the enemy of America? Caucasian men in their 30s, 40s, 50s, the enemy of America kind of thing right? It makes sense why those two are the highest. I mean you look at the facts people, that's what it is. Look at it for what it is.

Tony (44:11.958)

Yeah.

Jey (44:24.097)

take personal feelings out for a minute. But again, people can't even do that. Like you said, people can't even get to the point where they're not going to hyper react, they can't hear the facts. They can't have a conversation. I mean, at this point we've been talking for 45 minutes. We've probably triggered 18,000 people. Um, when I post clips on this on YouTube and Tik TOK and reels and stuff, I'm probably going to catch all the flack and everything. I'm probably going to get fucking canceled. I don't give a shit. Um,

Tony (44:34.848)

Right.

Tony (44:48.084)

Yeah, me too.

Tony (44:53.442)

Couldn't tell you how many flags I get from Instagram and YouTube, dude. All the time.

Jey (44:57.277)

Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, cool, fly it. I don't, I don't care. People need to have, we need to have the conversation. Dads, you have to have these conversations with your kids. If they're not here in the end, again, way to wrap it back here to fatherhood. If your kids are not getting their information from their most trusted source, example, you as their parent, then they're going to go get it from school. As they're not getting it from school, guess where they're going to get it from? The internet.

Tony (45:05.41)

Yes.

Tony (45:17.386)

Prepare.

Jey (45:25.981)

And at that point, if you let it get to that point, you're fucked. You are. Yeah. You're fucked. And there's really no coming back because now they're trying to fight it back. You're trying to work backwards from internet, get them to hearing it at school to get them to hear you back at home. And it starts at home. I have to explain this over and over and over again, the parents that I work with in my program, it starts at home. Yes, they spend eight hours a day at school. Where do they spend the other 16?

Tony (45:26.248)

Yep.

Tony (45:29.45)

It's an open world full of bullshit, so yeah, they're lost once they get it.

Tony (45:56.638)

at home, yeah.

Jey (45:57.705)

Exactly. It's been the other 16 at home. Step up, guys. That's the message here. The reason we're talking about all this, I feel at least for me, step up, have these honest, these hard conversations with your kids, inform them. You know, if you're against it, you know, schools, I think they still do it when they have the conversations about gender and sex and everything. They I don't know. You have an older kid than I do.

Tony (46:13.59)

Yeah.

Jey (46:25.193)

I don't know if they've talked about in elementary school, but do they send home waivers still to like get them out of these topics or as just kind of, cause I live in a blue state too. I live in a red area and a blue state.

Tony (46:32.555)

No, man.

Tony (46:37.794)

So yeah, I was gonna say, I live in a red area, but it's a blue state. So like the schools that we have are relatively good about it. The last school that we came from was not sending out any permission slips because they didn't give a shit. And I used to butt heads with the teacher all the time. She was a young black woman who, all I'm gonna say, man, is the first time I met her, she had a nice little lanyard, you know, teachers have lanyards.

Jey (46:42.028)

Yeah.

Jey (46:52.193)

So sad.

Jey (47:05.822)

Yeah.

Tony (47:06.114)

It's got a cute little apple on it, just common shit. But then at the very bottom of it, I saw a big blacked out square and I was like, I got a feeling this is gonna be a problem because when you display politics as a teacher, yeah, that leads to another issue. So I just knew from the beginning it was gonna be an issue.

Jey (47:25.405)

And that even jumps into a whole nother segment. Like from that, you could even start talking about DEI and all that stuff. Like DEI is a problem.

Tony (47:32.209)

Yeah.

Tony (47:38.944)

Yeah, man. But it's a red area. So I mean, even the principal is pretty good about it. You know, I remember getting an email from him and my wife had pointed out that his signature on the email said he him because they required these pronouns. And we were teasing him about it and he just rolled his eyes and he was like, the board says that we have to do it. So stupid.

Jey (47:58.877)

Okay. No, I get that, but I put he, him on my email and like my signature, my work email, because my foot, my first name is jewel J E W E L L. So it very easily gets confused. With her. And so I just put that on there for clarity. So I don't get that in later adult life here. Cause I'm just tired of it because I get mail that says miss or misses or, um, is Joel on a she on.

Tony (48:09.483)

Yeah.

Jey (48:29.849)

Um, she on the call kind of thing. I'm just like, Oh my God. I'm like, I'm not. And then I show up and I'm like a male and then they're like, Oh, they're like real uncomfortable all of a sudden and real caught off guard. And it's funny, but it's like.

Tony (48:33.132)

Yeah.

Jey (48:43.501)

I could have just avoided this. So that's why I specifically, it was like my, within my first two weeks, I'm like, can you please put he, him on my email signature? Please, just so it doesn't get confused. So everyone knows, so I'd never have to answer any questions. Like I've been answering questions my whole life. I just don't want to do it anymore. That's the only reason I do it for mine because I have such a not so gender neutral name. Hence why I go by Jay on the podcast.

Tony (48:53.046)

so everyone knows.

Tony (49:05.91)

Diverse name. Yeah.

Jey (49:14.05)

So.

Tony (49:15.446)

But yeah, they're pretty good about it. I mean, the school, like I said, the school we came from wasn't though, because they were not even passing out like flyers for the kids to inform the parents of what was going on. And I raged hell about it.

Jey (49:25.389)

See, that's wrong, that's so wrong.

Tony (49:29.606)

Oh yeah dude, I got so mad and of course I was told that I was being racist and bigoted and this and that because I didn't agree and I just lost my shit and I was like, you know what, we're just gonna pull her from the school and they tried to combat us man, they really tried to fight us from pulling her out of the school but we just didn't return her to school the next day or the next after that we called the principal of the new school she was going to because, fun little fact, he was the vice principal at her

Jey (49:39.13)

Sure.

Tony (49:57.902)

Kindergarten school she went to so he already knew her and he got her in within a week He got her processed and he was he was like we'll take care of her, you know, and he's a good dude. I He's gay but that doesn't Matter it doesn't fucking matter to me, dude I don't care about that as long as I just know that his heart is in the right place and That he's not gonna try to fucking indoctrinate my kid, you know, like Just don't talk to kids about sex or relationships. Let them be kids

Jey (49:59.11)

Uh huh, okay.

Jey (50:16.797)

Absolutely.

Jey (50:21.33)

Absolutely.

Tony (50:26.623)

You know, that's all I care about.

Jey (50:27.177)

Yeah, I mean, and kids learn that stuff anyway. They pick up on it. They're like, oh, I have a boyfriend or a girlfriend kind of thing. It's like, oh, do you know, kind of thing. And it's just funny. Like they just say boyfriend, girlfriend, because they're used to what they're seeing at home because so many of these kids are coming from homes that don't have two parents. It's like, oh, yeah, my mom has a new boyfriend or, you know, they're mimicking and they're acting out what they see at home. Boyfriend, girlfriend, mom's pregnant, all these things, right? They're just mimicking. That's all. That's what they know.

Tony (50:30.902)

Yeah.

Tony (50:36.212)

Right.

Jey (50:57.358)

uh...

Tony (50:57.454)

See, that's where I'm a blessed man, dude, because my wife and I, we've been married about eight or nine years, but we've been together over 10 years. Like, close to 12 years almost. And through all that time, I gotta tell you, my daughter has always questioned why we're so close. She's always like, why do you and mommy still hold each other like that? Or why do you guys always, you know, like she's a kid so to her it's gross. She's like, why do you guys kiss and this and that?

Even though we know she says she doesn't like it, later in life she's gonna love that. She's gonna love that she had parents that loved each other because it is gonna show her what she can expect and what to accept from another person as she gets older. Broken homes, dude, really do mess up kids. Nobody wants to talk about that, but it can mess up a kid.

Jey (51:30.434)

Absolutely.

Jey (51:41.145)

Exactly, yeah. Oh, I'll talk about it all day because, you know, my kids are now, you know, I've been divorced three years, um, remarried now, uh, kind of thing. Like my daughters will yell at me and my now wife. Uh, they'll yell at us, no more kiss, no more kissing. Cause I'll just, I'll just shove her against the counter and I'll just start making out with her, um, from the kids. Like.

Tony (52:07.988)

Yep.

Jey (52:10.705)

I don't care kind of thing like exactly let me show you how much like how happy daddy is now because you never saw this before with your mom kind of thing like you never saw us do this you saw us fight you saw us bicker let me show you what it's really supposed to be like let me show you what this happiness looks like let me set this example for you

Tony (52:12.046)

It's hard not to when you love that person.

Tony (52:21.378)

Yeah.

Tony (52:30.518)

Yeah, you have to man because not enough people have figured that out. Even, even if you're like divorced and you have, you know, you're trying to co-parent, people can't even get that shit figured out because the kids see when you fight, the kids see when you don't get along with stepdad or stepmom. And people need to figure out how to co-parent because if you don't.

Jey (52:52.565)

Yeah, not gonna lie. Not gonna lie. Fuck. Fuck my kid stepdad. Fuck that, dude. Um, not gonna lie. But you know, I try to keep it cordial. You know, it's hard to keep it cordial even with their mother. Um, but it's like fuck that dude. It's like I air and like if you're gonna co-parent I'm co-parenting with the parent of my child with the biological parent. I'm not trying to co-parent with

Tony (52:59.466)

Well, I understand that part too.

Tony (53:04.639)

Yeah, that is.

Tony (53:18.722)

Which makes sense.

Jey (53:21.821)

Your spouse who's probably not going to be around forever. Not going to lie. Like, I know you, I know how this, like, I know more than you think. I know kind of thing. Like this isn't like cool. You're happy now. It's probably not going to last kind of thing. I mean, you'll be back in the situation again here in a couple of years, but that's neither here nor there. I try not to talk too much shit about that. Um, but no, it's if you can, you got to figure out co-parenting, have to figure it out, keep it transactional.

Tony (53:23.2)

Yeah.

Jey (53:49.025)

Cause it's going to affect your kids more than anything. Court battles, endless court back and forth, all the things that's going to affect your kid. Figure it out. Take care of it behind closed doors. Take care of it through messages. Be smart though in those messages. Don't send anything that could be used against you. Kind of thing. Just be smart. So, and also know your statutes. Know your statutes limitations on, I just found this little snap bracelet on my desk. Frozen, my girl dad.

Tony (54:08.129)

Yeah.

Jey (54:18.957)

Um, know your statutes on different things. Like if your ex tries to bring up something from years, years ago, be able to say like, oh, well that was three years ago, according to this state law. Like that's irrelevant at this point. Kind of thing. Like, no, you're no, you're fat.

Tony (54:35.862)

Well, people don't know, man, that when you're married to someone, even when you love them, you still got to be mindful of your position because, yeah, that person, you could love them to death, but they could be building a case against you waiting for you to fuck up one day. You never know. You got to show them what they mean to you, and you got to articulate those words in a way that are nonviolent, non-threatening. You got to do everything you can to make sure that...

what they hear and feel and see is in some way positive, even if you're fighting. Because what we do, my wife and I, we tend to take it to the phone because we don't want the kids to see it. But again, when you're doing that, still be careful because what if you're with the person that does hate you or is, you know, you guys are indifferent or whatever, that can fuck you, man. And the shitty thing about divorce is it messes up kids too. When they see it being

Jey (55:33.779)

Mm-hmm.

Tony (55:35.426)

displayed in front of them. I'm grateful that my dad and my mom kinda hid that from us. It sucks because as a kid I didn't understand, but I love that we didn't have to see them fight, or that we didn't have to see them go to court. But a lot of young parents now don't understand that shit, and the kids do see it, and it does carry with them. You gotta be careful what you say to kids too.

Jey (55:59.181)

True. Literally, it's like, at least in Washington state, like in like divorce papers and whatnot, it's literally in the divorce papers that you cannot, like you are assigning that you will not say anything negative about their co-parent or their other parent or whatever you want to say in front of them. It is literally in the divorce papers. Is that followed? No. Do most people even know that? No. You can, in front of the kid at least.

Tony (56:13.409)

Yeah.

Jey (56:25.065)

You can say behind closed doors, you know, find again, way to wrap this back to the whole fatherhood topic, find your people that you can talk to.

Like if Tony and I are good friends and I'm really struggling with my co-parent and co-parenting, what I'm going to do is I'm going to be like, yo, Tony, got a minute, can we talk? My kids are asleep. I'm going to go outside to the back porch. Can I call you kind of thing? Vent it, do it in a space where they, where you're not in earshot kind of thing. So many people mess up and they do it with an earshot or, you know, be like, Hey, you know, my mom's going to babysit the kids this weekend. Are you busy? Can we go get a drink or something?

Tony (56:55.112)

Yeah.

Tony (57:02.987)

Yeah, just something.

Jey (57:03.733)

Like find your community, find your support. Find what that's gonna look like. Cause it's so important to talk about it. Like you can't just hold onto that. That's gonna do more damage to you. It's gonna be more damage to your kids if you're just holding onto that constantly and forever. You have to be able to release it and let it go. If you're not releasing it and letting it go, it's gonna eat at you. It's gonna destroy you. It's gonna mess you up. I know from firsthand how much that can mess you up if you're not letting it out. You have to let it out.

It goes back to the mental health aspect of it, of being a dad, a fatherhood. You have to let these things out. A journal, a friend, a confidant, someone you trust, love, respect. Like I could see me and Tony being great friends. Kind of thing. Like I would call him up and be like, yo dude, I'm struggling. Let's talk, let's chat. Feel like Tony, you would listen. And then we ended up talking about politics and then we'd be like, shoot, let's jump on the computer. Let's just record right now. Kind of thing. Um, but you know, that's, that's besides the point.

Tony (57:56.791)

Yep.

Jey (58:00.277)

You know, make sure you have that community. Make sure you have that support. Make sure you have those people you can call. If it's your dad, if it's your mom, if you're blessed to have your parents around any way, shape, or form, if they're your people, cool. If it's a sibling, great. If it's a friend, great. If it's a coworker and you trust this coworker, you guys worked together for 10 years, you guys know each other, respect each other, have that relationship, cool. A, you're already saving it for work. B, it's private. C, your kids aren't gonna hear you. Fantastic.

Tony (58:29.463)

Yeah.

Jey (58:30.205)

If you're going through the divorce process at all, and you have family who is around, let them know, hey, I have court today. Can you take the kids and go do something fun? Kind of thing. And they're just going to think, oh, yay, I'm going with Uncle Timmy today, and we're going to go have fun with our cousins and shit like that kind of thing. Don't involve them. Let them go and have fun, and then they'll see you, and they'll just assume you were at work. They'll just assume you just went through your day. Like, they're not going to know. Like...

Tony (58:41.72)

Yeah.

Tony (58:57.473)

Yep.

Jey (58:59.497)

Let them go and have fun. Embrace, let them embrace their childhood and have fun and enjoy it while you do stuff. And then find your outlet. Make sure the other person knows like, hey, when I pick them up, make sure you don't ask me anything about court. Kind of thing. I'll text you how I went on my way there. Kind of thing. And then I'll talk to you about it later. Make sure you you're clear and you're explicit about those things. Like if Tony was my person I was going to, I'm like, hey, Tony, can you watch my kids for a couple hours? I got court. You know.

Tony (59:05.221)

Yeah.

Jey (59:29.873)

And then I'm like, don't ask me when I'm on my way to come pick up the kids. Don't ask me how it went in front of them, but I want to talk to you later about it. Cool. No problem, man. Cool. Let me know. Like, cool. Like call me later, text me later. Let me know kind of thing. Like be that level of support for your, for your people, be that level of support for your friends, find those people in your life who are, who are there for you at that level, cause it's so important to have those if you don't have those.

Tony (59:37.267)

Yeah, of course.

Jey (59:59.369)

Your kids are going to struggle making those same kind of relationships. Like you have your kids to have those same kind of relationships.

Tony (01:00:02.604)

Yeah.

Tony (01:00:07.302)

Yeah, you gotta have a support system, man, because if you don't let that stuff out and you bury it, it's gonna destroy you. That's a generational curse that I do, I am on board with trying to fight, because I used to be a really big into like, no, nobody's gonna care, like man the fuck up, blah, blah. Well, I've learned, man, that does kill you mentally and physically, because I'm a big believer that if your heart hurts,

It can kill you. It can tear your body apart. You can kill yourself just from stress and unfortunately it can lead to a downward spiral. If you don't take care of yourself mentally, you're never going to be able to be A. A parent or B. A functioning person. You know because I know it's easier said than done for a lot of people because I'm 31 and a lot of people my age come from that generation of parents that said

man the fuck up, nobody cares, you'll be fine, do what you gotta do, you know, like, and that wasn't the way to do it, it really wasn't. It worked for a little bit, but then all that did was make us older people that don't really know how to cope with that stuff unless we get online and look for ways to do it or make friends and like, the problem is there's just no focal point on that. I feel like there really is not a focus on.

the mental health of a parent, specifically a father, because there is, and I'm not trying to make this a debatable topic, but there is more resources for mothers, I feel, than there are fathers. But yeah, mothers are seen as more of a priority than fathers are because, I mean, I have my own reasons for that, but I do feel that it's fair to say that the connection between a mother and a child is bliss. It's something that's very, very important.

Jey (01:01:46.225)

Oh, absolutely. There's no debate. There's no debate on that.

Tony (01:02:02.722)

However, I feel like that overshadows the fact that men need to be focused on too.

Jey (01:02:07.757)

Exactly, well let me ask you this, when any of your three kids were born, did any of those medical professionals ask you how you were doing? Did any of those hospital medical professionals talk to you about your own postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, any postpartum mental illness? Did they talk to you as a father about it? Did they talk to your wife though, about everything?

Tony (01:02:18.112)

enough.

Tony (01:02:32.49)

No, man. They didn't even address me.

Tony (01:02:37.578)

Yep, they went to her.

Jey (01:02:37.769)

after each of those kids, health, mental health, all the things, right?

Tony (01:02:42.086)

Yeah. Yeah, they didn't talk to me, man. They didn't even address me. I was, I was essentially treated as the boyfriend, even though I was the husband.

Jey (01:02:52.051)

Yeah, there's no debate. There's no debate then. Like there's no debate.

Tony (01:02:56.186)

Yeah, three kids later, same thing each time.

Jey (01:02:58.961)

Exactly. Different years, different people, different situations, you know? Like, it's crazy. Like, you've done it over the span of the last decade too, right? So you've seen what it's been like for the last decade, because you have a little newborn and you have a nine-year-old. Like, so you've known what it's like over the last decade and in between. And it's just, it's shitty for men. Like, we're like, we're treated as boyfriends, even though like, no, that's like, that's my fucking wife.

Tony (01:03:05.023)

Yep.

Jey (01:03:27.617)

Like I married her kind of thing, but you're still treating me like I'm just a fucking sperm donor.

Tony (01:03:28.118)

Yeah.

Tony (01:03:33.702)

I feel like they do that because it's kind of the new, it's the societal approach. It feels like it's, it feels like, I mean, this is gonna get political if I'm being honest, but it does seem like there's an agenda to push the father out of the picture. If we can emasculate the father and, yeah.

Jey (01:03:39.456)

Oh yeah.

Jey (01:03:44.529)

Oh yeah. It does.

Jey (01:03:51.853)

It's been that way, it's been that way since welfare was created. If you go back to research welfare, where it started, the communities it started in, it's all rooted within the legal segregation of whites and people of color back post World War II, even going back to

uh post slavery and pretty much since welfare was created though that's when the boom really happened Was that welfare was pushed? to onto single african-american mothers Because if they didn't have the father in the home, they could get paid they could push this program They could push the health care and the agendas and everything like that and it's just stemmed and blown out of proportion since then So it's not really political as much as it is fact

Tony (01:04:29.739)

Yes.

Tony (01:04:35.223)

Yep.

Jey (01:04:44.709)

go and read the color of law great book it helps explain it go and do some research on you know the welfare system where it was created how it was founded go do some research on fha loans like your home loans those are rooted in segregation um which blew some people's mind when i tell them that it's like whoa so you're telling me my home loan was rooted to keep you know white people and color people separate i'm like

Tony (01:04:44.947)

Yes.

Jey (01:05:12.509)

Yeah, that was the whole reason it was created to help keep people separate and segregated. Even post World War II, post slavery, post Martin Luther King and everything. You think about it, Martin Luther King was not that long ago. MLK Jr. was not that long ago. It was one to two generations ago. Maybe. I can't remember the years.

Tony (01:05:29.88)

Nothing.

Jey (01:05:39.557)

Which I feel terrible. I can't remember the year that happened off the top of my head, but, um, it, it's recent. It's very recent. You put that in context, like the world war two was, um, 80 years ago, two generations ago, gonna take at least four to five generations to remedy the effects of the legal segregation post world war two, is gonna take a long time. Like we're barely getting out of it.

Tony (01:05:54.53)

Yeah.

Jey (01:06:07.781)

we still feel it, it's still prevalent, like it's... So no, you're not wrong, it's the agenda.

Tony (01:06:11.47)

Well, those systems are designed to screw you, man. Because I was on those systems at one point, too, as a young parent. Those systems are designed to punish the father and the house as a whole. Because if you do good for yourself, they take you off of it. But they even told us, man. I remember the day they took away food stamps from me. I was like 24, 25. They took it away and they were like, you know, unfortunately make a...

Jey (01:06:28.171)

Mm-hmm.

Tony (01:06:39.99)

you make $20 a year too much to qualify now because I had gotten a raise. To me it was the silliest thing in the world, but the caseworker looked at us and he's like, I'm gonna be honest with you guys. Because she's a white woman, she is not a priority in terms of food stamps and all that. But you're a man, so you're not a priority either. However, because you are a minority, all she has to do is...

decide she's gonna go after you for child support. If you guys do that, she gets food stamps. And because, yeah, dude, he was like, I'm being honest with you, that's how this is kinda going. And we looked at him like, that's kinda racist. Like, that's a little fucked up, but... Yeah, dude, like, they don't wanna say it. Like, you know, that's the thing too, cause it's racist. Well, like...

Jey (01:07:16.957)

Oh

Jey (01:07:26.249)

Kinda?

Jey (01:07:30.841)

Oh no, I'm surprised that he even got that honest with you. You know, like most people don't know, like I'm biracial, like I'm African-American and I'm Caucasian. Couple other ethnicities mixed in there, but I'm mostly white and African-American and whatnot. My wife, she's Latina, kind of through and through. So like the race, the racial aspect of this, and we're going over here because this is such a great conversation, but.

We'll hit on this and then we'll wrap up. But, you know, we get looks like in public. In 2024, brother. 2024, people look at.

Tony (01:08:07.426)

We do too.

Tony (01:08:11.626)

People look at my wife. Man, I couldn't tell you. I've seen so many like Spanish women or Latino women that look at my wife and just roll their eyes. And I remember talking to one of them, you know, it was a, I, it was someone that I came across at work and we were talking about relationships. And I asked her, what the fuck is that? Why do like, why do Latino women do that? Or at least not all of them, but you know, why did the diehard ones do it? And she was like, because they're giving you that look like, ew.

the white women still are men. And I was like, yeah, but that's kind of racist. What's that?

Jey (01:08:44.233)

Well, obviously you didn't do it, Paulette.

Obviously they didn't jump on it soon enough.

Tony (01:08:51.786)

Yeah, I was like, but that's kind of racist if you ask me. And they're like, well, yeah, but you can't say that. Because one of the most common unwritten rules of this world is if you're a white person, you can't experience racism, which is bullshit. But yeah, absolute bullshit. But that's one of the most unwritten rules that we follow. So it's OK to treat white people like that, which, again, that's fucked up. But.

Jey (01:08:55.841)

Super racist.

Jey (01:09:08.251)

Oh, absolutely.

Tony (01:09:19.21)

Yeah, I just looked at it like, that's fucking racist. That doesn't make any sense. You would think that they'd be happy. Divis- you know, diversity and shit.

Jey (01:09:23.045)

No race, right?

Jey (01:09:29.441)

DEI, man, DEI. That's another conversation. That's a whole freaking hour itself to talk about that. Because then we would jump into the airlines and Harvard and everything, man. There's a lot we could cover in DEI. That would be fun. I never realized how fun it was to talk politics. Because I work in mental health. I work with a lot of women. And I work with a lot of gay women. I work with a lot of

Tony (01:09:36.107)

Right.

Tony (01:09:49.846)

Hehehe

Jey (01:09:59.113)

queer women, whatever the, whatever they identify as, whatever they prefer to be called. You know, I just, I still say like, I ask them like, what are your pronouns? If they say like a she or her or something, I'm like, cool, I'm going to run with that. I'm rarely going to use your they pronouns. Not to be disrespectful. It's just like, I know they don't care enough. I know they have told me like, she is fine. I'm like, cool, I'm going to run with that because I can obviously see you're a woman.

Tony (01:10:02.162)

Yeah, whatever they prefer to be called.

Tony (01:10:15.057)

Yeah.

Jey (01:10:27.049)

I can very obviously tell what you have between your legs kind of thing. I'm not trying to say that to be a bigot or racist or anything like my girls, like if they ever try to tell me like, Oh, I'm trans. I'm like, no the fuck you're not. You have a vagina between your legs. I'm like

Tony (01:10:40.882)

Yeah, you're not. Yeah, that's something that pisses people off. I always say, like, my kid comes home and says, daddy, I think I'm a girl or, you know, or a boy and, you know, the whole trans thing. I'm going to look at them like, no, you're not. You know, you're, scientifically speaking, you're not.

Jey (01:10:54.609)

You're not, no, I'm sorry. Maybe you just, no, maybe you just like girls and that's okay. Like let's have a conversation about that. Like maybe you just like girls. If you like girls, cool. Like I accept you and I love you still, but honey, you're not trans. You're not transgender. Like you have a vagina and you have boobs. You have breasts kind of thing. Like let's.

Tony (01:11:01.034)

Yeah.

Tony (01:11:14.048)

Yeah.

Tony (01:11:19.306)

Yeah, it's clear what your body parts are, you know.

Jey (01:11:21.745)

Yeah, exactly. Um, but yeah, let's, let's wrap here. We've had such a fun conversation. I love how we've been able to tie all this stuff back into fatherhood and being a dad in one way, shape or form. Of course, I would have loved for us to get into the mental health aspect a little bit more, but we kind of did more or less, um, talking about how important it is to take care of your mental health and

Um, make sure that you address it because you can't be the best version of you if you're not addressing your own mental health. You have to address your own mental health issues. You have to address like, you know, your depression and everything. You have to address anxiety, depression, all those mental health disorders. They're not just a thing where I can tell you if Tony tells me, man, I'm really depressed, man, the fuck up. You can't, you can't tell someone that cause that's going to make it worse. It's like, dude, I'm really sorry. How can I support you? Do you need to talk about it?

Tony (01:12:09.336)

Yeah.

Jey (01:12:14.445)

Do you need some space? Do you need a distraction? Like what can I do to support you brother? Like do you need some help finding resources that can help you? Like how, exactly, how can I support you brother? And that's what we need to do for our kids too. Like, oh honey, you're feeling depressed, man, I'm really sorry. Like can you tell me a little bit more about that so I know how to help you? Like what are your, like kinda how are you feeling depressed? Things like that, like let me know, like let's.

Tony (01:12:15.508)

Right.

Tony (01:12:20.139)

Yeah.

Tony (01:12:24.994)

Be supportive of each other.

Jey (01:12:42.101)

do you think that maybe you would benefit from talking to someone? Like my six year old's in therapy kind of thing and she's working through like these different feelings. I mean because she was a child of divorce and she's been through a lot the last like few years kind of thing between the two homes and stuff and so she's back and forth between that stuff so she's in therapy now and she loves it and it's such a good thing because it helps her get those feelings and express herself at that level.

Tony (01:12:58.614)

Yeah.

Tony (01:13:06.519)

Right.

Jey (01:13:12.001)

So, um, but yeah, I would love to jump into it, but we'll have to do it again. Cause there's always more to talk about. This was a great conversation. It doesn't even feel like we've been talking for an hour and 15 minutes. Um, like it's just flown. Um, so I just want to give a shout out to my sponsor of the podcast today, the June app drive positive behavior change with June. If your child is struggling with behavior, habits or routines while at school or at home, well, June might be worth a look. This new revolutionary app.

Tony (01:13:18.528)

Absolutely.

Tony (01:13:23.278)

I don't know.

Jey (01:13:41.377)

combines a video game that kids love with important tasks and habits that you want them to practice daily. You can give the app a try for free with my code YNGDAD to earn 25% off and see why over 500,000 families and over 1,000 therapists are recommending June, that's J O N and visit J O N A P dot I O backslash young dad Y O U N G D A D to learn more. And again, you can find that code, the direct link.

all down in the description of the show notes. Or if you're on the Instagram, the Twitters, the Facebooks, wherever, the link in my bio contains that. All the deals, specials, promos, and partners of the Young Dad Podcast on our link tree. And then Tony, they'll be able to find it as well in the description of the episode, but tell the people where they can find more of you, more of your podcast. Of course, so.

Tony (01:14:30.83)

Ahem.

Tony (01:14:34.41)

Okay, right now our website is under maintenance. It has been for months. But if you want to find something that's related to that, go to Instagram, we're at The Great Gertz Podcast. We're on YouTube, same thing, at The Great Gertz Podcast. You can find us on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Google. We're also on Rumble too. But again, if you're looking for us, it's going to be at The Great Gertz Podcast. But thanks again, man, for having me on.

Jey (01:15:01.541)

Oh, we're on rumble too. Um, I find we get some solid views on rumble. Um, which is surprising. Um, I did not think I would click so well on rumble. So.

Tony (01:15:09.442)

Yes.

Tony (01:15:14.974)

Oh yeah, our views are way better on Rumble than they are elsewhere.

Jey (01:15:18.313)

I get way more views per episode on rumble than I do on YouTube. So Maybe there's a reason maybe there's a reason It's probably cuz I look caucasian and I fit the demographic better. But hey find your audience find your people But anyways, man, thank you so much for your time today. It's been much appreciated It's been fantastic such a great conversation and we're gonna have to part do this. So

Tony (01:15:21.983)

Yeah, same here.

Tony (01:15:32.524)

Yeah.

Tony (01:15:43.05)

Absolutely. Just let me know man and I'll be there.

Jey (01:15:46.017)

For sure.