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119: A Dadalorian Life- Patrick T. (Full Transcript)

Jey (00:16.032)

I just realized as the live studio audience was cheering and going, I gave you no warnings whatsoever what was about to happen. So that's my bad. This is the way of the Young Dad podcast. Welcome in everybody. Welcome into another episode. I'm joined by my friend Patrick, aka at Dadalorian Life over on Instagram. Patrick, how are you today?

Patrick Tafua (00:16.21)


Patrick Tafua (00:22.326)

I'm going to go to bed.

Patrick Tafua (00:33.162)

I'm doing great, Joe. Appreciate you having me on. Wouldn't be a Monday morning with a few little audio hiccups, but we're here now and here we are, dude. Appreciate it.

Jey (00:47.936)

True, it's still not as bad as Paramount Plus timing out. I wanna say it timed out for me, hold on. The first half, six times it timed out and the app just closed and I had to open it back up. During the halftime show twice, during the halftime show, and then it would lag and it was rough. And so Paramount Plus, I tweeted multiple times. I'm like, Paramount Plus, you could just say you guys weren't ready for this.

Patrick Tafua (01:14.742)

Dude, like, and they had all the time in the world to be ready, because they had that one game, that one divisional round for it, you know, and I didn't pay for it. Oh, that was on Peacock. Oh, shoot, you're right. Classic. Should have stayed stuck with it. Yeah.

Jey (01:17.012)

then just say it, just admit it now.

Jey (01:27.612)

No, that was on Peacock. That was on Peacock.

Patrick Tafua (01:33.021)


Jey (01:33.3)

So Paramount, but you think they would have taken those numbers, taken last year's Super Bowl numbers, put an extra 10% on of them to be able to be ready for what could have happened and upgraded their servers over these last, because they know that they were going to host the Super Bowl for the whole year, right? They've had all this time to get their servers ready, upgraded their live TV streaming better.

Patrick Tafua (01:38.934)

I'm gonna go to bed.

Patrick Tafua (01:45.942)


Patrick Tafua (01:51.955)


Patrick Tafua (02:01.782)

That systems architect is going to be crapping his bed when he goes to work today. But I'm gonna take off fire. Yeah, absolutely.

Jey (02:03.273)

all this time and they failed miserably.

Jey (02:12.704)

He already got fired. He got fired during the first time it went out during the halftime show. No, because you gotta think like they don't, the artists don't pay, don't get paid for their halftime performance. The whole point of the halftime performance is because it's just to give them more publicity, whoever they're with to give them more publicity for people then to go and like filter to their stuff.

Patrick Tafua (02:15.572)


Patrick Tafua (02:21.334)


Patrick Tafua (02:34.25)

Yeah, because I think Usher's like releasing an album or something. I think they shared that a little bit in the game. So I was like, oh, well, all right. There it is. That's why he's doing this.

Jey (02:47.896)

Yeah, but it's like if you and then like the audio during the halftime show, like I swear it didn't pick them up half the time.

Patrick Tafua (02:52.818)

I was watching on YouTube TV. I'm glad it stuck with it. No blackouts on my end. It was great. It was a great experience for me. But no paramount plus.

Jey (03:05.072)

nice yeah i tried watching on paramount no it was yeah no paramount plus is great though for like as a dad that you know a millennial dad all the 90s cartoons all the good old school cartoons all the spongebob all the rugrats all the rocket power all the red and stimpy all the cat dog all the things all those shows that my kids don't watch because they're boring

Patrick Tafua (03:13.444)

Oh yeah.

Jey (03:29.788)

And they're like slower than like the average cartoon or the animation is a little bit different. Uh, and I just don't like them, which is sad. It's heartbreaking.

Patrick Tafua (03:33.938)

Yeah, Rocket Power, I introduced that, did the whole Wiggly with my son, and then it was, can we get back to Bluey or something else? Damn, moment God, you know.

Jey (03:49.2)

Yeah, missed opportunity. Maybe it'll change someday, but Patrick, tell us about you, tell us about your platform, tell us about your fatherhood journey a little bit, or anything else you want us to know about you.

Patrick Tafua (03:57.714)

Yeah, absolutely. First off, thanks for having me. You know, like you have our mutual friend Rob on here, Girl Dad. And you know, that's what got me introduced to you. And, you know, I thought you had a great job of just bringing in great messages of encouragement from other parents and also just parenthood. Right. And I definitely have taken some things away from myself. But a little bit about me. Yeah. So a dad at Laurian Life. Let me just start there. You know, the whole name came from

One of my favorite shows is The Mandalorian. I'm not a Star Wars nerd or geek, but I do love Star Wars, grew up on it, being raised by five older brothers who were alive during the original trilogies and whatnot, so I was sort of adopted into Star Wars. But The Mandalorian was a show that came out a few years ago and it was something that really resonated and took to be mine versus my brothers who grew up with the original trilogy. So that's really what it stems from.

And it's just a play on that. But a little bit about the show, as we probably all know, there's a way of life for these certain type of people. And there's a reference in the show that's called This is the Way, when they abide by this particular creed or a way of life. And I resonated with that a lot. And that's kind of where it helps me kind of have as a launching point for my platform as being a father. My whole thing is fatherless to fatherhood, a journey.

And I really come in with that whole.

theme, trying to, with humor and with, you know, some things that are not on my platform, but that's really where it stems from. Because I've been really enjoying trying to figure out what is fatherhood really looking like for me. And for one who didn't have it. And so that really comes down to three things that are out of microcosm from a small thing what I believe should be a big part of not just fatherhood, but parenthood in general is love, availability, and reliability.

Patrick Tafua (05:57.95)

And the love fart comes from first loving my spouse, right? Loving my wife first. And being a product of a single mother, I recognized wholeheartedly like that was something probably missing majority of the time for my mom. She was married twice before I was born and they were failed marriages. And it was just something that I would hear about as I grew older. And I heard as I saw my siblings become parents and things that they were trying to do and not replicate from there.

parents, you know, my mom's ex-husbands, I was like, okay, you know, so that's a big portion of what I believe at the core of fatherhood. First, love my partner, love my wife. Let my kids see that love first and I love them. And then availability, I believe is the best ability that we can give to our children and also to our spouses, right, to everyone, which I hope leads to the output of reliability for our family. That's

You know, it's a lot of availability, is the input that we put in together that I hope the output is reliability. And that's what I'm wanting to bring. That's the message of data lowering life. I guess that is the way to what I'm trying to bring. Of course, with a little bit of humor, but you know, that's kind of the microcosm of what a data lowering life is to me. But I'm the youngest of nine, a little bit more personal. I'm the youngest of nine. So I've had a lot of other parents in my life besides my mom. And you know, I think I'm trying to.

create this little platform as even more of a dedication to my little village of those who stepped in the roles as father figures in my life or additional parents when my mom wasn't around who was working two jobs, sometimes three, to care for me and the rest of my siblings. So that's a big part of who I am. I guess we'll start there as a launching point. But yeah.

Jey (07:54.512)

I like it. I like it. So like out of your siblings within your home that you grew up with, who did you end up being like closest with? Who are you still like closest with like out of everyone like to this day?

Patrick Tafua (08:03.058)

Yeah, I mean, well, I take it to step back. There's a 13 year gap between me and the second youngest. So I was everybody's baby. There was already adults in the family. I just kind of came in and I'm like, oh, surprise. Mom's expecting a child here. So I would say when it comes to closest, it would be my older sibling, my older brother, of course older.

told her. My brother Mo, he stepped in that father role in our lives for all of us. And I would say I'm closest to him because I just, there was just this in...

Patrick Tafua (08:49.79)

man, like not personal connection, but just an easy connection, him taking that fatherly role to the point that my oldest son is named after him. You know, that's how important he is in my life. And I wanted to give that to him. He only has two daughters who I love, and my two nieces, but you know, I was gonna have the first boy here and I was gonna be him, no question. And so I would say my oldest brother Mo.

Jey (09:20.488)

I love that. So for you, kind of what you hit on there, you know, the first love your wife, that's a, that's a topic right there because it's, it's against, it's unconventional, which is super sad. I've talked about this in depth on the podcast a few times where for me personally, it's

I've been disagreed with on the podcast about this, that it's not as linear as I placed it, but at the same time it's slightly fluid, but not at the same time. So how I've always rated it, and this goes back to my religious beliefs primarily, is that it's your God first, your wife second, your kids third, your ministry fourth, and oh no, the rest of your family fourth, and then wait no, ministry fourth, and then everything else after that.

Patrick Tafua (09:59.304)


Jey (10:15.24)

kind of thing. So it falls in that very linear, very intentional order. Love God before everyone else. Commandment in the Bible. Love God first. Everything seems to work out after that. Love your spouse next. And I actually had a conversation with this at work where it ended up I was asked very respectfully, like, why is your spouse second or your partner second? Shouldn't your kids be ahead of them? I'm like, no.

Not necessarily because if I put my kids before them, then I lose them. Then I lose that support. I lose that system. I lose that help. I lose that. I lose all of that. You know, I lose that friendship, that support, that reliability, that concrete, you know, foundation, that everything that, you know, my partner is, my fiance is. Like, I lose all of that. I already went through that once in my previous marriage and I learned my lesson.

Patrick Tafua (11:07.379)


Jey (11:12.348)

when everything else came before my spouse, which happened a lot. And I can admit that fully, fullheartedly. I put work and my kid and everything else like before her. So much of the time. And that's OK. I probably there's multiple other reasons why it didn't work out in the end. Not saying that's the end all be all. Did it help? No. But did I learn from that? Absolutely. To now where it's like.

to now fast forward to today, it's like, well, I'm going to put her first and respect her and love her and give her a little bit more than my kids because, A, I only have my kids half the time, so what am I supposed to do with the other half of my time? But also I can still put her first while doing things for my kids. Sometimes, yes, I do have to flip-flop those on occasion to where that's just the necessity of the moment to call for, oh, I need to put the kids right here.

You know, we have to sacrifice this thing that we were going to do for the kids and put the kids ahead of us for this particular thing and kind of move, move things around. But I think it's important to put your spouse first, your partner first, because they're your support. They're the other parent. If your kids see that you're not loving them, then they're not going to love them or respect them as much. But if they can see how much you love them, then that's going to be a whole lot easier.

Patrick Tafua (12:35.286)

Yeah, absolutely. You know, there's two things there, right? Like the first thing I've kind of in a light bulb moment for me in this whole creating this platform and thinking about love being the first thing for this. But first, sorry, I agree love God first, yes. Yes to that and love my wife, right? I believe I agree with you on that. And so, but when it comes to this, I've always said that I love my wife first, right? You know, but my kids loved us instantly.

Jey (12:40.214)

of a transition there.

Patrick Tafua (13:03.702)

and but I loved my wife first. And I think that was a big thing for me to remember and try to recognize like going into this parenthood and recognize what is important as a father for me and my eyes, right? And going through that. So I just always believed that I loved, like my kids loved us instantly, but I loved her first. And I tried to, I joked that with my oldest son who's five and he gets it like, hey, I love you son, but remember I loved your mom first. And like it's.

Because he's always about, I did it first, I did this whole, he tries to compete. And so I try to bring that to his attention and teach him and model that like, you know, I love you, but I loved your mom first son, you know, and we got to help mama or whatever it is and then like this and that. But secondly, you know, where I see it falling important is that, you know, it's the whole airline analogy, right? Put your mask on first and before you put anyone else's and you know.

That was something I took that to heart when I was trying to create this whole idea and this notion. But then lastly, it all actually stems from the fact a year into my wife and I's marriage, I'm not a big astrology guy, okay? I'm not into big horoscopes, but I think they're interesting, okay? But we did do a little thing one night, we're like, what is our compatibility to each other? And apparently, me as a Virgo and my wife as a Sagittarius, that is the worst.

Jey (14:19.303)


Patrick Tafua (14:27.306)

the worst compatibility sign for me, apparently. There's like a 20% success rate with my wife and I's marriage compatibility. So being the competitor that I am, I was like, oh, let's beat that. Like I kind of took some pride. It's kind of funny, a little weird, but like a little weird take, but then I recognize why that's incompatible, which only makes me want to work harder.

because I love her that much. And I think that's kind of a nucleus to where that is really stemming from.

Jey (15:09.356)

That's interesting. Yeah, no, it's. Horoscopes or something to any to any of my single man listening out there, I'm just going to say this, don't if you're with an astrology girl, run, run fast, get out, leave. That's interesting that you guys are, you know, so long and the compatibility skill, I'm an Aries, which doesn't mix well with really anybody.

Patrick Tafua (15:20.854)

Ha ha ha!

Jey (15:39.592)

Like Aries, we're kind of the black sheep of all the zodiacs. We're loud, we're mean, we're aggressive, we're fiery, we're hot-headed, we're short-tempered, we're kind of an ass. For me, all those things are true, for the most part. I can control it though. I let my Aries out when I need to let it out. Normally it's pretty tame. I keep it kind of like a smoldering fire. You know, add a couple pieces of wood, it'll whew, or some lighter fluid, it'll whoosh.

Patrick Tafua (15:54.986)


Patrick Tafua (15:59.766)

There you go.

Patrick Tafua (16:04.438)

Splatter Fluids, that's more like it.

Jey (16:09.376)

But normally it's just smoldering. Exactly, add a little bit of lighter fluid, those flames will go. But outside of that, like my fiance and I, she's a Pisces and I'm an Aries. And according to Astro Sage, the first thing on Google, it says that this is a picture perfect relationship.