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56: Motherhood Uncut- Kate & Deb

Updated: Nov 29, 2023


Jey (00:07.804)

Yes, our Live in the Studio audience is so excited you guys are here. Welcome into another episode of the Young Dad Podcast. I'm Jay and joining me today are the hosts of the Motherhood on Cut podcast, Kate and Deb. How are you guys today?

kate kripke (00:22.649)

So good. Thanks for having us. Especially after that amazing audience intro. We feel so grateful to be in front of this live audience.

Jey (00:33.544)

Yeah, the live audience, I mean, obviously you guys can see them because we're recording, but the people can't see them because I hide them from the people. They don't want their identity seen. They just get paid to clap and cheer and laugh and stuff. So, you know, it is what it is. But I'm so happy that you guys are here. I'm a fan of you guys. I'm a fan of your show. I'm a fan of what you guys do. And I'm honestly just really happy to have you guys. The listeners don't know about your show, Motherhood Uncut. It's an educational and humorous show.

hosted by two lifelong friends. I mean, you guys are in the same room and you guys just have real talk about motherhood, which I love honestly, and being able to share that perspective because I think it's really helpful for dads and men to get a real perspective of it from the other side to hear both sides, to understand like, okay, I'm going through this, I'm feeling this way. I wonder what they're feeling and to get that perspective. So I think it's a little bit easier for

my listeners to have it come to them. So I'm really excited you guys are here. And I like what you guys said in your questionnaire about what it means to be moms. It means being willing to be uncomfortable in order to love fully. I think that's so true. So Kate, Deb, tell us a little bit about yourself, your show, and does anything else you want the listeners to know about you guys?

kate kripke (01:36.085)


kate kripke (01:49.509)

You know, I love getting all gender perspectives of this. And I often am reminded that we're so much more like than we're different. And when we actually come from that place, there's so much more room for humor, compassion, curiosity, the things that we believe are the pillars of parenting and just being in the world. So I'll start actually by telling you our story. Perfect. And that goes. Great. So Kate and I actually met,

a long time ago. Our babies were babies. Yeah, so probably 15 years ago. And we happened to be in the same office. And we met having lunch and blah, blah. And then it was a slow build. We both had babies. And then Kate was pregnant with her second. And I wasn't even pregnant yet with my second. So we were just both therapists in the world. Kate specializing in postpartum mental wellness. And I was focused on couples and individuals.

Jey (02:34.217)

Love that.

kate kripke (02:48.805)

around connection and relationship and sexuality. And we were just like juggling, right? We were juggling. So anyway, long story short, our relationship was this slow, beautiful build. And eventually we introduced our husbands and then our families really merged and we became kind of a village mentality. And we really believe in villageing in every way. And we were truly trying to live that and giving our kids, other aunties and uncles that were close.

because we both live far away from family. And anyway, our podcast actually grew from sitting at a pool day after day, one summer during COVID. Yes, and let me just say, sitting by a pool and hiking and making meals together and waking up in the morning with our coffee and drinking a glass of wine too. It was like this conversation over and over. Over and over.

where we were much more interested in talking about our mothering than talking really about other things. We weren't interested in talking about other people. We weren't necessarily processing our friendships. We were actually processing our relationships with ourselves as mothers, our relationships with our partners, our relationships with our kids. And every now and then we'd be like, God, this would be a great podcast.

we should be recording this conversation. And it started as just kind of a joke and then Kate being Kate who takes everything to the Nth degree called me one day and she's like, I got all the gear. And I was like, okay, she had microphones and all the things and I was like, let's do this. And then it just kind of grew from there. And we were like, let's talk about the things that people don't wanna talk about, like the really uncomfortable things like when you're hardcore judging your kid.

or when you can't really deal with your kids' friends. Things that just kind of go into the deeper layers that are uncomfortable. And it just grew from there. We've now had four seasons.

Jey (05:07.228)

I love that. Congratulations.

Jey (06:02.024)

I love that. And that is 100% how it starts. That's how my brother and I started. We would play games and we would just game. And especially after my divorce or like toward the end of my marriage and into my divorce, we would just sit on PlayStation. We played video games. We usually play Madden or 2K or something. And we just played for a while. And then eventually he kept saying like, we should do a podcast because this conversation like belongs on a podcast.

We're just talking about just like all the things, all the random things and getting into it. And so then one day I was just at work, I was working at a bank. So I was working a back office job at a bank and I just had all the ideas, all the names, the first like 10 shows. I'm like, I got it. We're ready. Here we go. He's like, okay, I guess so kind of thing. So very, very similar there, but I think it's so important.

for what you guys do is to talk about the uncomfortable things. Because no one really wants to talk about those. And especially for us three, you know, we understand working in the mental health circle, how important it is to talk about the uncomfortable things. Because someone's got to talk about it. Eventually you have to talk about your uncomfortable things, or they're just going to eat at you.

and they're going to cause more issues that are going to trickle over into your parenting, into your relationship with your partner, into your relationships with your friends, those you're close to. So it's so important to get those uncomfortable things out there. And especially for you guys being able to talk about it from a firsthand perspective, but also professional perspective is also just so, so important.

Jey (07:52.314)

You're fine. I think we're okay. So we'll just keep going forward. I'm not seeing anything that's not allowing it. So.

Jey (08:02.544)

I know, I love it sometimes. I love it sometimes. Everyone's trying to podcast nowadays, you know? Us experienced people who are multiple seasons in we're like, come on. There's no room on the boat for you guys.

Jey (08:24.649)

Yeah, same.

Jey (08:40.888)

And I love that and that's so accurate for me. I mean mine looks cool because I have this whole Mike boom and stuff. So I look like I know what I'm doing but I really have no clue what I'm doing. But that's so true with like parenting at the same time, you know. And different kids with different needs. Like we each have multiple children so each of those kids has different needs. They're each going to need a different style of parenting from us. And I think that's a big thing when parents go from one to two.

is that this kid's gonna be pretty similar at the beginning, but once they start to babble, it's out the window because that kid's gonna be totally different. Like my second, she is wild. She is untamed, she is feral, she is just crazy. I love her because she's super fun, but my other one, she's very highly, she's highly intelligent, which means she's also highly emotional.