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54: (Not So) Secret Dad's Business


CLOSE CAPTIONING/Transcript:

Jey (00:09.96)

Alright big shout out to our live in studio audience Welcome in welcome in to a special Episode for both of us here today you have young dad podcast times Not so secret dad business and that's going to equal something good today. Nate. How are you man?


Nate (00:30.206)

I'm doing well, man, and you're totally right. I hope we have some gold coming out of here today because, you know, with both of us doing some really cool dad casting, let's go there. You know, I've been looking forward to catching up with you, man. So it's great to finally make this happen.


Jey (00:47.136)

I know, we've been trying to nail this down for a few weeks now, right?


Nate (00:51.754)

Yeah, I think we're going close to a month now, yeah.


Jey (00:55.716)

I know we've been trying but that's just life man. That's just life having kids, working a full time, having a life, everything in between that comes up. I moved and everything. So it was just, it was a whole thing. It was just a whole thing. We missed recordings, mostly me, not we mostly me, but you know, overall it's been, we got here. That's what matters. We got here and it's gonna be something good. So.


Nate (01:21.506)

That's it, man. And look, the time difference between the States and Australia doesn't help things too much either. So, you know, at least we got it happening, man.


Jey (01:27.79)

No.


gotta happen and so I don't know if the listeners couldn't pick up on it but you are in Western Sydney Australia I think that's pretty cool I believe you're the third or fourth dad and social media person or coach or someone that we've that I've talked to from Australia


Nate (01:52.846)

Oh, that's awesome. I feel pretty bloody special, mate.


Jey (01:56.18)

Yeah, you guys are, you guys are cool down there because there's a lot of similarities between how, how we parent and how we think. It's very similar. And I've talked to people from both, from Australia and from here. And really even hearing it from Australian's mouth, it's like, it's just like America, just without the guns.


Nate (02:19.55)

It is man, like Australia is very Americanized. Uh, like you've got to realize that 80 to 90% of the stuff on TV is coming in from America. So, I mean, I was growing up on Nickelodeon and the Simpsons and all that good stuff, you know, Ren and Stimpy and the, like the golden age of Nickelodeon. Not what it is now, but the


Jey (02:37.036)

Mm-hmm. Yes.


Yes, which is all which is all on uh, peak peacock paramount plus Paramount plus has all of those like they have a special category for all those 90 cartoons So paramount plus not a sponsor neither is peacock unless they're a sponsor of yours, but they're not sponsored mine, but Um, they have the original rug rats like rocket power wild thornberries All of those different shows all in one category there and it's the coolest thing


to be able to flip through those shows and actually started watching the new Rugrats that's on there, because they modernized it with the animation and everything just to kind of fit more with today. And they updated a lot of the content to make it more relevant. It's actually a pretty good watch, not gonna lie. I have some solo Rugrats watching time the other day, so it was pretty enjoyable.


Nate (03:28.124)

Yeah, wow.


Nate (03:39.978)

Yeah, and I think Rugrats especially is a good one to watch with the kids as well. And I love it because now I look back at Rugrats and I see all those dad jokes, those grownup jokes that you don't notice as a kid. And I'm like, how were my parents letting me watch this? But then again, it's the same with Angry Beavers and Catdog and Rocco's Modern Life. Like they're all pretty risque, but yeah.


Jey (03:44.153)

Mm-hmm.


Jey (03:51.827)

Oh my gosh, yes.


Jey (03:57.624)

because you didn't understand it.


Jey (04:03.903)

Yeah.


Yes, they are.


Nate (04:08.594)

As I say though, you know, like it's not just the TV that's got us pretty Americanized. I mean, we've got seven elevens everywhere. We've got Starbucks everywhere. We've got a five guys up the road. Uh, you know, so we've got a lot of American influence here in Australia, which I think is why it's so relevant.


Jey (04:29.208)

And you guys just have a lot more... deadly wildlife, I guess. Uh, comparison.


Nate (04:35.514)

Yeah, well, that's right. We don't have the firearms, but we've got every poisonous creature available. So and don't get don't get me started on the drop bears, mate.


Jey (04:41.808)

True.


Jey (04:45.54)

The what?


Nate (04:46.69)

The Drop Bears.


Jey (04:48.812)

Like bears? Like-


Nate (04:50.85)

So they're an offshoot of a koala. They look just like a koala. But what, yeah, but these things, man, drop bears, they're vicious. So they will actually stay up in the tree and wait for something to come underneath the tree. They'll just drop straight out of the tree on top of you and attack you.


Jey (04:56.192)

I love koalas.


Jey (05:12.216)

What?


Nate (05:15.382)

No, come on. I've got to be honest, man. Us Aussies love winding everybody else up. And that one is a bit of a joke. Drop bears don't exist, but it's one of our favourite stories to tell.


Jey (05:15.512)

That's crazy.


Jey (05:25.052)

Oh dang it. That's pretty cool. I want a koala to die. Well, like I don't really want to get chlamydia from a koala. So I don't really want to interact with one, but from a distance, I think they're great.


Nate (05:41.918)

Oh, they're gorgeous, man. They're gorgeous, but they are vicious. They will warn you and they will hurt you if you get too close. But I mean, they sleep 98% of the day anyhow. So to find one awake is pretty rare.


Jey (05:43.32)

Yeah.


Yeah.


Jey (05:54.564)

Yeah.


Jey (05:58.2)

Make sense? So, and the other day, just while we're talking about poisonous creatures, I left to go get in my car. I turn around and I close my door and they're sitting on my door as a black widow.


Nate (06:11.274)

Yeah, I hear those things are pretty bad.


Jey (06:11.308)

It wasn't a big deal. They are, they're real bad. And it was right on my front door and I just had to kill it with my shoe real quick. I already looked pretty weak, but I was like, what the crap? Like that's, that's cool. Right as I'm leaving.


Nate (06:28.606)

Yeah, absolutely. We'll often find spiders in our cars, but the ones we tend to find are called the huntsman. And these things, as a baby, with their legs, they're about three inches across, but they will grow to the size of a pasta dish. And they move at about three feet per second. Three feet? Yeah, I wanna say three feet a second. And so they...


Jey (06:30.208)

up the blood pressure.


Jey (06:43.344)

Mm-hmm.


Jey (06:52.489)

What?


Jey (06:55.92)

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


Nate (06:57.442)

They don't build webs and they catch their prey by hunting it down. And they'll eat insects, they'll eat small rodents, they'll eat lizards. Anything that's smaller than them, they'll eat it.


Jey (07:14.748)

Whoa, that's crazy. Now it's also true in Australia that you have to kind of check underneath your car door handle before you get in sometimes to make sure you don't grab something.


Nate (07:24.014)

Oh yeah.


Yeah, the huntsmen, they like to hide under your door handle. I mean, it's not a habit that I'm into, but I've seen instances where people have gone to open their door and something's come out and crawled up their arm or whatever. So it happens.


Jey (07:43.108)

That's crazy. Have you had any like close encounters or like for you personally any close, um, almost incidents with anything deadly or poisonous?


Nate (07:56.046)

Well, I'm originally from the west coast of Australia, from the small city called Perth. And over there, they've got these small brown snakes called Juggites. And they're quite toxic. They're not one of the most toxic snakes out there, but they are toxic. And so growing up on 30 acres of land, you'd see them quite often, but they weren't a threat. We'd just sort of lop their heads off with a spade and move on.


Jey (08:02.809)

Okay.


Nate (08:26.034)

You know, if they got too close to the house, it wasn't a case of relocating, which is kill them and move on.


Jey (08:33.68)

Definitely. Okay. Well enough about wildlife. I haven't ever really ran into anything deadly. You know, I almost got stung by a bee today. Almost cracked my pants because I've never been stung by one. So I don't know if I'm allergic. I wasn't really trying to find out today. Screamed pretty hardcore the other day, believe me, like a couple weeks ago. There was a bee on my leg. Just...


Nate (08:45.314)

Hahaha


Jey (08:59.972)

Chillin' on my leg as I walk back in. I feel something on my leg, and I already walked back into my work building. And then I let out a, ah! And it was, I freaked out. I thought I was gonna die. I know, normal stuff, tough guy stuff, but you know, it's not a good time. Animals are great, but.


Nate (09:22.222)

Look, when you don't know if you're allergic or not, it is kind of that fear-based reaction, I think. You don't want to get messed up, so I get that.


Jey (09:33.74)

Yeah, but I'll go at it with any spider that I find. Like, I just saw that black widow and I just kicked it on the door. They even blink an eye. And that thing's gonna hurt me way more than the bee will. Cause I can get EpiPen'd by someone or something like that, but... That black widow, if it gets me, like, that thing's poisonous, it gets into my blood, I have to turn a kid off my leg if it bites my leg and... Stop the blood flowing. I don't want to do all that to myself. It's not a good idea, but...


Nate (10:00.502)

Yep. I feel you.


Jey (10:03.788)

Regardless, I want to know how did not so secret dad business start? because you Your platform your podcast is really cool. It's a one-man show except for when you have guests on and You go into the weeds on a lot of Topics that I haven't quite ventured into yet. Like I'm pretty sure you did an episode about child trafficking. I believe


Nate (10:32.734)

Yeah, that one was about child exploitation material online.


Jey (10:35.824)

Yeah. And you've gotten into some other hot button topics and you're not afraid to jump into the weeds to help educate dads like myself and just your even like your neighbors and whatnot. So how did it all start? Like what was the motivation behind it?


Nate (10:56.502)

Um, well, basically it all started off because I'd relocated from the West coast to the East coast and I don't have a huge friend support here. For quite a while I lived in isolation and I lived by myself. My nearest family are about an hour and a half away, two hours away. So it's not like I could just call my family and go, hey, I need someone to hang out with or whatever.


And so I met my wife when she was four months pregnant. And we started casually dating. We didn't expect it to go anywhere. But then five months later, my son was born. And so, you know, I was doing the dad thing for a couple of years. And by the time he reached four, I just went, man, I've got all these questions, but no resources to that I can find. I don't have.


those friends around. I don't get me wrong, I have drinking buddies up at the pub and all that sort of thing, but none of them were dads. These were all younger guys. And so I couldn't really talk dad stuff and all that sort of thing. And so I decided I'm going to start a podcast. I've been talking about it for two years, but I finally pulled the trigger and went, no, this is something I've got to do. I can.


talk to dads around the world, and that's the beauty of the internet, is that I have access to everybody, you know? And I thought, well, let's see how things are different culturally in different countries. Let's see what advice I can get from other dads. And it's just about having those conversations between dads that you don't normally take the time out to have. I know you're a massive Seahawks fan.


Jey (12:51.588)

Die hard, die hard.


Nate (12:51.966)

and so, gotta love the Seahawks, man. And so that for guys usually is sports. That's the go-to topic. You're not talking about fatherhood or the sleepless nights or you're not talking about the poo explosions with diapers or you're not talking about formula shortages or anything like that. You're talking cars, sports, all that superficial stuff.


Jey (12:59.448)

Yep, 100%.


Jey (13:14.507)

Mm-mm.


Jey (13:18.072)

Yeah, you're talking cars, sports, women, sex, drinking, like pretty much it, depending on what circle you're in, unless you're in your circle with your church friends and whatnot, then you're talking, you know, very, obviously you're talking more probably politics and the Bible and just other closely related things to church and whatnot, but yeah, no, you're right.


Nate (13:23.202)

That's it.


Jey (13:46.832)

all very superficial on the surface. You're not talking about the nitty gritty.


Nate (13:49.814)

Yeah, no, that's right. And so that's why I decided to do it because that way I could start loading up my toolbox, as I like to call it, with different coping mechanisms, different tools, different, just different ways of being able to handle things. And so over the years, I've spoken to everyday dads, I've spoken to other dad casters, I've spoken to personal coaches, performance coaches.


I've spoken to a sex addiction coach as well. That was a very controversial episode that I did. But again, I've taken all this information that I've learned, put it into my toolbox and it's made me a better dad. And to top it off, I've started building this network of dads that I'm always talking to and bouncing stuff off of. And again, with the internet, it's...


so great because I could just send off a message to Philly or Seattle or Jersey or wherever really and talk to one of my dad mates and go hey I'm struggling what are you doing with this or how are you working through this you know.


Jey (15:02.82)

Definitely. And I think, you know, that's pretty common across like a lot of us dadcasters that are doing this kind of thing. But for us, we started somewhere totally different. Like we were kind of talking about a podcast, my brother and I, for, I don't know. For a while we were talking about it because we would game and then during, while we were gaming and stuff, we would just have these really deep conversations.


Like our gaming was when we would have like our conversations where we would get into it, where we just talk like deeply and intently. PlayStation network probably have some great data on all that. If they really want to cover it up for us or get it out for us, that'd be cool. But no, we would have these just great conversations and we always said, man, this would be a great podcast. Like this, this is good stuff. Like it was, it was good. And then we would bounce the idea around. Nothing would ever happen. And.


Bouncing around some more and we were kind of stuck at that superficial level to where it's like, well, sports is kind of overran. We could go more niche, but more niche is even overran if we go a certain sports topic and then we're limited to grow. We could do like a talk show, but again, it was very superficial topics we were thinking of. And then one day I'm sitting at work. This is when I worked at a bank.


It kind of just came to me out of nowhere. Like it just hit, like it finally all clicked. The name, the idea, everything. Cause we had talked about like how we would want to do a show that would be, but people would want to listen to because it benefits them and somehow they get something from it and it helps them somehow because we bring. Such a different perspective. Like we didn't grow up together. Him and I, we have the same mom, but different dads. So we were raised on very separate paths, but all.


but ultimately had very similar outcomes to each other. We're very much alike in a lot of different ways. What to me is interesting because I'm a psychology person, so it really shows a lot of nature versus nurture, how we were raised and how we both kind of came up. And a lot of our similarities are very similar. But even after that, we were like, what can we do? And then we started the podcast and started out really slow.


Jey (17:31.376)

because we were really trying to find our footing, we would do segments. We really hated doing segments because it was a lot of stop and go, stop and go, stop and go. And it was hard. It was like, this doesn't, this is fun. It's whimsical. You know, we have a real life topic. We have a parenting topic. And then we have a fun game or bit. Like, it wasn't like, it wasn't enjoyable. And then we're like, you know what? Let's...


let's try doing what Joe Rogan does and just have freeform conversations and just see what happens and then all of a sudden we're like recording these episodes and we're catching these ideas and now we're here and it's like this is crazy because we've connected with like you said it's so nice to connect with people from all over like we've connected we haven't gone to Asia or really too far into Europe or anything just because I don't think our platforms


Nate (18:04.782)

Mm-hmm.


Jey (18:30.564)

like translate for them for some reason to like their like feeds and followings. It's really weird. Like I've noticed my show lands really well in Australia for some reason. And like your show does really well here. It's really interesting how similar it is when it comes to that kind of climate, but I have very little listenership in Europe overall, zero in Asia pretty much. But you say Sydney in the United States. Those are my.


Top two areas. That's really interesting, very interesting, but we started it and just started talking and getting to know other dads. And at first it was just supposed to be something for us, small, and now it's started to grow to where we have it in community. People hear us, talk about us. Our reels get 10,000 plus views, and it's like this is...


a lot of exposure and it's like we need to just keep being I guess a vessel for the message we're trying to spread about healthy fatherhood and keep the why because we're really trying to make an impact on one person whoever this really lands with we wholeheartedly believe if it needs to land with someone it's gonna land with them. They're gonna find it. You know, God makes no mistakes. It's gonna land with them.


Nate (19:37.175)

Yeah.


Nate (19:54.655)

Absolutely, man.


Jey (19:59.968)

when it lands, it's gonna land and it's gonna be for a reason because they need to hear that latest episode. And it's so important that we keep that perspective because we never know when we're truly gonna just skyrocket to the moon. Could be any episode. It could be a past episode that all of a sudden goes from a hundred plays to 10,000 plays overnight because all of a sudden it caught on with 10,000 people. And


And then they're binging and then they're like, this is some good stuff. I need to keep on this. You know, you never know. And so it's just so important to us to keep being that vessel because we got to keep doing what we're doing. You got to keep doing it because that's essentially segue here. That's what fatherhood is. We have to keep going. We always got to keep going. No matter if we're tired, broken, beat down, no matter what we're going through, we got to keep going because we got to keep going for our kids.


Nate (20:58.222)

That's it, man, that's it. And look, one thing I do wanna touch on with you there as well is the fact that you're saying it may land with someone, someone may need to hear it. And that's why my podcast is called Not So Secret Dad's Business, because one, it's having those talks that don't normally have. And so my tagline is taking the secret out of fatherhood. We're talking about it's no longer a secret.


But secondly, that was the second motivation for me to do the podcast was for me to be able to not just personally connect with other dads, but also have those conversations that some dads really are comfortable having. And they can listen, like you said, listen to your content or my content or whoever's and take something away from that. That could be beneficial for them. Even if it's just a case of, oh, wow, man, I'm not so alone. You know, but


Jey (21:48.336)

100%


Jey (21:53.636)

Exactly.


Nate (21:55.602)

Yeah, I feel you, dude. But as for fatherhood, you're right, man. Like it's, it's very much like podcasting. You just go keep pushing forward. And I think it's like anything in this life, you know, like life is hard. And, and like, when I was a kid, I couldn't wait to grow up because it meant I could eat ice cream in bed, you know, I'm a grownup, I can do what I want.


Jey (22:06.564)

100%.


Nate (22:21.59)

But I'll tell you right now, I don't remember the last time, in fact, I don't remember ever eating ice cream in bed. And life was a hell of a lot harder than I ever expected it to be. And yeah, just pushing forward, man, like that one foot in front of the other.