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117: New Parent Again- Eddie (Full Transcript)



Jey (00:15.014)

And welcome into another episode of the Young Dad podcast. I'm your host Jay. I'm super excited to be on another episode of this fatherhood journey with all of you. As you know, Young Dad podcast where fatherhood begins. Super excited to welcome Eddie onto the show. Eddie, you're the host of New Parent Again podcast, a podcast for families. And your situation's a bit interesting. You have an 11 year old and a seven month old. So you really are a new parent again.


Uh, quite literally. So tell us a little bit about you, kind of how your platform got started. A little bit of the backstory, but behind the pretty significant age gap there between the two kids and then just anything else you want us to know about you.


Eddie (New Parent Again) (01:01.169)

Yeah, so thank you for that. The background behind the concept of the show was really just kind of an accident, really. So the whole thing started with a website from the new parent again. And that being the fact that I have two kids, two girls that are 11 years apart from each other. At the time it was 10 years, right, with the pregnancy turned into 11, but almost exactly 11 years apart from each other. And I thought, you know what, that's kind of cool. What if I started a website?


and did like a blog and just kind of got it together because there's a lot of experiences out there, something that I can document my time with, maybe something I can help other people with. And especially dads, right? Cause a lot of the platforms that we see online, social media, things like that, they're not really geared toward the father figures, they're more geared towards the mother or not even the entire family, but it's more of a, the mom vibe strictly with the parent role. And in my house and with a lot of my friends, we don't share that type of stereotype.


The guys do just as much as the moms, the moms do just as much as the guys. It's shared responsibilities. We do as much as we can to help support each other. And that's what really inspired the idea. Plus, like I said, running into everybody saying, my god, you guys are pregnant again. You guys are doing it again, right? The word again just kept popping up over and over. So I was literally driving one day and I was just like, you know what, I am a new parent again. I don't have anything. I don't have any more toys. I don't have the crib. I literally have to buy.


everything all over again. So it's like, we're going to do this journey one more time. And then when we got a little further into it to the first doctor's appointments, we realized how much everything has actually changed. Even the technology for finding out when you first have the sex of the child. For us, I think it was like six months, something like that. But now it's like three or four. So when the doctor told us that we were just like mind blown because they can do blood tests now. And that's something that we weren't really prepared for.


So just as we got more and more into the pregnancy we realized that How much how little we actually know all over again because everything has changed so significantly the other part of that too is that when People have their other kid. They always say that one is definitely not like the other I can tell you for a fact in my case my two kids are Direct opposites. So everything that I thought I knew or understood is Not there anymore. I'm totally starting fresh all over again


Eddie (New Parent Again) (03:20.977)

which is a beautiful thing and it's a lot of work being almost in my 40s now from my 30s. It's a big change. And then the podcast, the podcast is the same name, New Parent again, and that started on a whim. I just thought, you know what, I have some old DJ equipment, I want to try something new, it'll be fun. I sat down with my daughter and we just recorded an episode just for fun. So we've got a few episodes here and there of just me and her talking and it turned out to be something that I really enjoyed.


And then I was really nervous about putting it out there into the world, right? Because when you break into social media, even when a blog, you have to write your feelings if you're actually writing and you have to put stuff out there that you may not be comfortable putting out there. So once I finally got past that wall, it got a little bit easier. And then I did the podcast thing and it got a little bit easier. And I said, you know what? This is actually a lot of fun. Then I started getting feedback from people, feedback. I was really afraid to get.


Right? Because it's like you put it out there and you want people to hear it, but you really don't want anybody to hear it that you know, just because you don't want to get embarrassed. Right? You probably understand where I'm coming from with that. So I put it out there and I started getting positive feedback. They're saying, Hey, you know what? Your daughter sounds really good. That was the feedback. It wasn't, I never did good. And that's okay. Right? Cause I'm here for my kid and I love it. Everybody was like, you know what? Your daughter sounds awesome. Your daughter sounds really professional. And you know what? They're right. She did sound really, really good. And I was really impressed by the.


Jey (04:24.658)

Mm-hmm.


Eddie (New Parent Again) (04:45.085)

progress she made being that she was only 11 years old. We've never done anything like this before. And for the most part, she was a really shy kid growing up. So to see where she's at now becoming more full of her spirit, and being able to talk on a microphone and engage and interact and not be so afraid of what people think about her is a big deal to me. And I can look at this in the future and say, Hey, we did something, no matter what happens of it, we will always have that record of our conversations. And that's pretty cool.


Jey (05:15.45)

No, that's awesome. No, I 100% get that how Because when I started the blog my blog I started with baseball I started with sports and it was Just kind of dumb just to write just get out there really like baseball got really into it I've always loved baseball. So I'm like, well, I like writing too. So I'll just combine the two started got more and more into it Stuff started posting going out there getting feedback and I actually got a ton of negative feedback at first


Uh, just from random people, you know, syntax typos, all the things like all the nitpicking, nitty gritty things. When we started the podcast, it was like, well, the volume is weird on this one. And I'm almost like, well, everyone's a critic. It's fine. We're just going to keep moving forward. We'll adjust it. We'll edit it. We'll just go with whatever it is. You know, it's early. I don't expect to be perfect right now. I it'll be a perfect, it'll be better by the time we get to a hundred.


Eddie (New Parent Again) (06:02.17)

Yeah.


Eddie (New Parent Again) (06:09.51)

and the


Eddie (New Parent Again) (06:13.117)

Yeah, the internet is brutal. I mean, it's really easy for people to speak their mind without any repercussion. And that can be a really bad thing, but it can also be a good thing too, if you're willing, if they're actually right, and there's something that we could take away from it, because we don't really know the context behind where they're coming from. But sometimes, you know, people will say things that we can listen to, and I've had to learn to get past that too. And this is something that I had a long conversation with my daughter when we started doing this, and I was like, hey,


You know, if we do this and people may actually listen to this that we don't know, and what that risk comes people saying things about us because they don't know who we are. How do you feel about that? And at first she kind of had a pause and we did it on a podcast and she had a pause, but then she was like, you know what? I don't, I don't really care. And then I'm thinking in my head, right? Cause I know my daughter and I'm thinking, are you just saying that? Because we're doing this right here, right? We're, we're having like an interview, so to speak, a podcast.


Or is that how you really feel? And she said, no, you know, you don't know if somebody's having a bad day or why they're saying that, but I'm just gonna keep doing what I wanna do and I'm not gonna let it bother me. And I thought, man, that's a really big thing to say for an 11 year old. Because it doesn't matter what age you are, we are very susceptible to people's words and how they feel about us. So she really does have that stance, which I hope she does, right? Where she can stand on her own two and say, I'm gonna march to my own beat. That's an amazing thing.


Jey (07:41.286)

No, that's the word sliv-by right there, you know, for her and for you. And, you know, it really just echoes a lot of what you and her mom are doing with her. That she's able to have that, you know, sense of confidence, sense of self-worth, sense of just, well, they're having a bad day, you know, oh, well, I feel worse for them than I do for myself because of them. Like, they're not, I'm going to feel worse for them than they feel for me.


Eddie (New Parent Again) (08:01.117)

Yeah.


Jey (08:04.834)

kind of thing, because I might keep doing what I'm doing and you know, that's what it is with this whole atmosphere of podcasting and blogging and whatnot. It's like you have to be okay with just that. People might not like it. People might not enjoy some of the things we talk about. Some people might not want to listen or they might hear my speech impediment, impedimenting harder on some days or other days or be able to tell that I'm recording at...


different weird hours of the day and night and times of the day or that I'm wearing the same shirt for three recordings in a row because I probably wore the same clothes for multiple recordings back to back to back. And that's okay. You know, if you want to nitpick and nitty gritty that hard, cool. But thank you for the engagement, first of all. Thank you for the comment. Thank you for the like. Thank you for, you know, boosting this up through the algorithm a little bit. I appreciate that. You know, cool. But no, it's definitely just...


something you have to go through and go with, and it's part of it. Because I mean, if I would have stopped after the first 10 negative feedbacks or negative comments, I would have been like every other podcast, 95% of podcasts out there that stop after two to 10 episodes. I wouldn't be nearing, I wouldn't be over 100 plus at this point. I wouldn't be approaching 150, however many at this point if I decided to let that stop me and hold me back. So.


Eddie (New Parent Again) (09:22.398)

Yeah.


Jey (09:32.434)

You know, you just kind of got to say, f them to a point, you know, there's always going to be people who don't like what you say. There's always going to be people who don't like you for whatever reason, because of your eyes are brown or your beard is better than them or you have cooler hats or because you're doing something, essentially you're doing something that they are probably jealous and envious that they're not doing. At the end of the day is what it comes down to. And they're just projecting that through hate or through mean comments because they're


Eddie (New Parent Again) (09:45.752)

Yeah.


Jey (10:00.61)

They want to be able to do what you're doing with the amount of confidence, with the amount of grace. And those people who are commenting are probably just angry adults who know that an 11-year-old sounds better than them on a microphone. Not an 11-year-old more educated, more well-spoken, able to hold a better conversation than they are, or they're just jealous that she gets to talk to her dad and that's projecting through them kind of thing. And, you know, we never know what someone else is going through.


Eddie (New Parent Again) (10:16.611)

Yeah


Jey (10:30.338)

but I think that's so important that she has that perspective. Like, oh, they're just having a bad day. They're just having a bad day. I feel bad for them kind of thing.


Eddie (New Parent Again) (10:31.552)

Right.


Eddie (New Parent Again) (10:41.841)

Yeah, if I can keep that perspective all the time, I'd probably be a lot less stressed out in life. Like, you know what? It's cool. Like, it's not that serious. Because as we get older, we have to deal with so much more stuff too, right? So if I can, if I would have had that ingrained in me at a young age and held on to it all the way through, and I have a pretty cool temperament, but there, you know, there's always something that can get to somebody that can create that bad day. But if I could just easily, you know, snap my fingers, remind myself, hey, it could always be worse.


Life would be a lot easier and a lot less stressful.


Jey (11:13.47)

100% and there is so much that goes on just being a dad that comes with that. Like I couldn't, like I have a hard time imagining right now. Right now my kids are six and three and within the next couple of years I'll probably have another one with my now, by the time this comes out, we'll probably be married by the time this comes out. My fiance right now as it is though, soon to be wife.


You know, we have plans to have another child and stuff, and it's just like...


Jey (11:47.382)

Diaper Days will be back. Graduated my youngest one from diapers when she was about 18 to 20 months old and she got out of them pretty quick. Pull-ups at night, she went through that process pretty quick for her. So I'm just like, man, how do I justify it in my head that I wanna have another one and do have another one?


Eddie (New Parent Again) (11:50.505)

Yep.


Jey (12:14.87)

kind of thing. So it's a bit hard to think about because that's another level out of the stress. But for you guys, how did you and your wife adjust? Was it a planned? Was it a happy accident? Did it just kind of happen? What?


Eddie (New Parent Again) (12:32.373)

So it's more or less planned, to put it poorly. And I can try to explain it. So we always wanted the goal of having another kid. And it just took that long to have another kid. Now the actual story goes is that we were up at night and we're getting ready for bed, we're just having a conversation and it just came up and it was like, hey, maybe it's just not meant to be. And that was the actual conversation. We started talking about


You know, we should be grateful that we have a kid. It's not because we know people that have been in relationships. And I say been in because they wind up breaking because of the stress of trying to have another kid or have a kid in general. It puts a lot of stress on them because they want something so bad. And then it gets to a point where it creates arguments, right? It creates stress and it's unfortunate. Um, so we said, you know what? We have our daughter. She's my mini me and, and we're grateful for the fact that we have her.


Maybe it's just not meant to be that we have another one. Maybe we should get on birth control and stop trying because we're not getting any younger. And we just talked about it a little bit and we're like, yeah, maybe this is just what it is and that's okay if that's what it is. I never wanted, so how do I say this so it doesn't sound wrong? In the beginning, I didn't wanna only have an only child. It's not that I don't want another kid or to her to be an only child. I was an only child. And I went to school.


Jey (13:50.65)

Mm-hmm.


Eddie (New Parent Again) (13:57.693)

early in the morning and I was picked up late. I was always one of the last kids in daycare. And so I didn't want to, my daughter to be an only child because I know what it's like not having anybody else to hang out with. I had my neighborhood friend kids where I had a bunch of friends growing up. We were all different ages and races and it was awesome because we got to see all different types of life and early age and it was the greatest thing ever. But when they're not around, right, I'm by myself.


And I know what that's like, even for an hour, sometimes it's miserable. Now I know sometimes for people that have siblings, they would kill for that hour by themself, but I never had that opportunity. I only know it one way. So I always wanted to have a second kid. My wife has a huge family. She has her version of the Brady Bunch where she has her mom's side, right? And they have their kids, dad's side, they have their kids. And then she is the bridge between the mom and the dad. She's the only kid out of the parents.


So she's the final bridge that connects the two together. So mom came with her kids, dad came with his kids, and then they had her. So she grew up with a ton of family. So she always wanted a big family too. So anyways, fast forward to that night. We said, okay, this is what it is, and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. This is where it gets a little fuzzy, but I say the next day, she says it was later in the week, but I always say we're gonna go with my story because it sounds better. The next day, she found out she was pregnant.


Jey (14:59.598)

Okay


Jey (15:23.536)

Ha ha!


Jey (15:27.31)

That's crazy. So what was that? What was that? I feel like that happens a lot. Like I hear a lot of those stories like, oh, well we kind of just kind of gave up on trying because kind of stopped trying and then boom, baby.


Eddie (New Parent Again) (15:27.537)

Very next day she found out she was pregnant. Yeah, and that's how it happened.


Jey (15:44.374)

It's so common, but it's also really common the opposite, where there are those struggles and it does lead to significant relationship problems. That's one piece of advice that I would always, always give people 100% of the time is make sure that you're on the same page as far as family planning and you talk about the what-ifs, because you don't want to talk about the what-ifs. No one wants to talk about the what-ifs. It's like, well, what if we only can have one?


or what if we can't have any, or what if we can't do this? Cause my fiance and I, we're both almost, we're both almost 30. And just understanding our bodies biologically, we're both super healthy, we take really good care of ourselves, diet, exercise, all the things. But we significantly worry about like, if we try to start having kids after 30, like what'll happen because like, just the overall quality of our reproductive system goes.


down significantly that's the science pretty much you know.


Eddie (New Parent Again) (16:44.861)

Listen, at 30, you've got nothing to worry about. 30, you've got nothing to worry about. 30, 30 is still, is still a young 20. Trust me. It's a, ironically though, I think it's, I think it's 35, if I remember correctly. Um, they considered it a geriatric pregnancy. And that was a really funny word to hear them describe my wife because she's, you think geriatric, right? You think like Flintstone old. Um,


Jey (16:49.524)

I mean...


True.


Jey (17:06.676)

Yes, yes.


Jey (17:13.363)

Oh yeah.


Eddie (New Parent Again) (17:13.641)

But it's not the case. She was 39. Well, we're both 39 now. But yeah, it's not, but that's what they labeled. They labeled a geriatric pregnancy. But in your early 30s, you got nothing to worry about. We had my first at what, 20, well, 11 years back, right? So 39, 38, 37, something like that. I don't know. It was, it wasn't that bad. It wasn't that bad. Or late 20s.


Jey (17:23.546)

Crazy.


Jey (17:35.542)